Produced by Lesley Halamek, Malcolm Farmer and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI VOLUME 98, April 26TH 1890 _edited by Sir Francis Burnand_ MR. PUNCH'S MORAL MUSIC-HALL DRAMAS. (CONTINUED FROM P. 145.) No. IX.--UNDER THE HARROW. _A Conventional Comedy-Melodrama, in Two Acts._ ACT. II.--SCENE--_Same as in Act I.; viz., the Morning-room at Natterjack Hall. Evening of same day. Enter_ BLETHERS. _Blethers._ Another of Sir POSHBURY'S birthdays almost gone--and my secret still untold! (_Dodders._) I can't keep it up much longer ... Ha, here comes his Lordship--he does look mortal bad, that he do! Miss VERBENA ain't treated him too well, from all I can hear, poor young feller! _Enter_ Lord BLESHUGH. _Lord Bleshugh._ BLETHERS, by the memory of the innumerable half-crowns that have passed between us, be my friend now! I have no others left. Persuade your young Mistress to come hither--you need not tell her _I_ am here, you understand. Be discreet, and this florin shall be yours! _Blethers._ Leave it to me, my Lord. I'd tell a lie for less than that, any day, old as I am! [_Exit._ _Lord Bl._ I cannot rest till I have heard from her own lips that the past few hours have been nothing but a horrible dream ... She is coming! Now for the truth! [_Enter_ VERBENA. _Verbena._ Papa, did you want me? (_Recognises Lord B.--controls herself to a cold formality._) My Lord, to what do I owe this--this unexpected intrusion? [_Pants violently._ _Lord Bl._ VERBENA, tell me, you cannot really prefer that seedy snob in the burst boots to me? _Verb. (aside)._ How can I tell him the truth without betraying dear Papa? No, I must lie, though it kills me. (_To_ Lord B.) Lord BLESHUGH, I have been trifling with you. I--I never loved you. _Lord B._ I see, and all the while your heart was given to a howling cad? _Verb._ And if it was, who can account for the vagaries of a girlish fancy! We women are capricious beings, you know. (_With hysterical gaiety._) But you are unjust to Mr. SPIKER--he has not _yet_ howled in my presence--(aside)--though I very nearly did in _his_! _Lord B._ And you really love him? _Verb._ I--I love him. (_Aside._) My heart will break! _Lord B._ Then I have no more to say. Farewell, VERBENA! Be as happy as the knowledge that you have wrecked one of the brightest careers, and soured one of the sweetest natures in the county, will permit. (_Goes up stage, and returns._) A few days since you presented me with a cloth pen-wiper, in the shape of a dog of unknown breed. If you will kindly wait here for half-an-hour, I shall have much pleasure in returning a memento which I have no longer the right to retain, and there are several little things I gave you which I can take back with me at the same time, if you will have them put up in readiness. [_Exit._