"_A thousand thanks for your nice long, sympathetic letter;_" _i.e._, "Great bore to have to reply to six pages of insincere gush." "_Please excuse this hurried scrawl;_" _i.e._, "That'll cover any mistakes in spelling, &c." "_Only too delighted;_" _i.e._, "_Can't_ refuse, confound it!" * * * * * [Illustration: ON THE SWOOP!] * * * * * IN THE KNOW. (_By Mr. Punch's Own Prophet._) THERE was some good racing at Newmarket last week, and, as usual, every single race proved up to the hilt the extraordinary accuracy of my forecasts. I said a year ago that "_Bandersnatch_ was a colt who hadn't a chance of winning a first-class race. Only a March hare or a Bank-holiday boozer would think of backing him." _Bandersnatch's name never even appeared on the race-card last week._ Mr. JEREMY says the colt is dead, as if that had anything to do with it; but of course if the gullish herd chooses to cackle after Mr. JEREMY it's no use trying to help them. The hippopotamus-headed dolts who pinned their faith to _Molly Mustard_ must have learnt their lesson by this time. Of course _Molly Mustard_ defeated that overrated sham _Undercut_; but what of that? When _Undercut_ was placed second to _Pandriver_ at the North Country Second Autumn Handicap two years ago, I warned everybody that _Wobbling Willie_ who is half-brother to _Rattlepate_ by _Spring Onion_, ought to have made a certainty of the race if the gruel-brained idiots who own him had only rubbed his back with DAFFY'S Elixir twice a-day before going to bed. As it was _Wobbling Willie_ rolled about like a ship at sea, and Brighton Pref passed him in a common canter. That scarcely made _Molly Mustard_ a second _Eclipse_. The fact of the matter is she is a roarer, or will be before the season is over, and those who backed her will have to whistle for their money. All I can say is, that I hope they will like the trap into which their own patent-leather-headed imbecility has led them. _Corncrake_ is a nice, compact, long-coupled, raking-looking colt, with a fine high action that reminds me of a steam-pump at its best. He is not likely to bring back much of the £3000 given for him as a yearling by his present owner, but he might be used to make the running for his stable-companion _Catsmeat_, who was picked up for £5 out of a butcher's cart at Doncaster. For the Two Thousand I should have selected _Barkis_ if he had been entered. Failing him, there is very little in it. _Sandy Sal_ might possibly have a chance, but she has always turned out such an arrant rogue that I hesitate to recommend her. Mr. JEREMY plumps for _Old Tom_, and the whole pack of brainless moon-calves goes after him in full cry as usual. If _Old Tom_ had two sound legs he might be a decent horse, but he has only got one, and he has never used that properly. * * * * * [Illustration: A TRAVELLING TRIBUNAL.