"No," said JOKIM, shaking his head, and wistfully regarding the Port decanter; "it wouldn't do. Think of what I have to say in my speech about the drink traffic. It's drink that has created our Surplus. Can't help the Surplus, but must say a word in condemnation of drink. Would never do to have me enforcing my argument with sips out of a tumbler. Suppose, when I came to the question, 'Who drinks the rum?' TANNER were to point to the tumbler and shout across the House, 'You do.' Where would we be? Where would Her Majesty's Government be? No, JACKSON, old fellow, you mean well, and a sip of Port, with or without an egg, in course of three hours' speech, is a comfort. But it mustn't be;" and JOKIM turned resolutely away from decanter. JACKSON kind-hearted fellow; deeply touched at his chief's heroic self-denial. "You leave it to me," he whispered, as they left JOKIM'S room and strolled off to Treasury Bench. Just before JOKIM rose to commence Budget Speech JACKSON came in carrying tumblerful of dark liquid; might be extract of walnut, printer's ink, anything equally innoxious. JOKIM saw it, and recognised the '51 Port. "JACKSON," he whispered, tremulously, "you shouldn't do it; but since you _will_, leave the bottle on the chimbley-piece, and don't ask me to take none, but let me put my lips to it when I am so dispoged, and then I will do what I am engaged to do according to the best of my ability." No chimbley-piece handy. So JACKSON cunningly tucked away the tumbler in among the Blue Books and papers where it innocently rested till JOKIM, well under way with speech, and feeling round for notes upset it; agonised glance as the ruby fluid ran over the unresponsive table on to the heedless floor. Heartless persons opposite tittered. [Illustration: "I hear a smile pass over the face of the Right Hon. Gentleman."] "I hear a smile pass over the face of the Right Hon. Gentleman," said JOKIM, fixing glance somewhat venomously on HARCOURT. House burst into roar of laughter. JACKSON took advantage of diversion to mop up spilled Port with blotting-paper. Only GRAND CROSS in Peers' Gallery, sat stern and unresponsive. "I call that pretty mean, TOBY," he said, talking it over afterwards. "It was I who first saw the smile in House of Commons. My greatest oratorical success; and here comes JOKIM, coolly appropriates it, and House laughs as if it were quite new!" Never saw GRAND CROSS so terribly angry. JOKIM will have bad quarter of an hour when they meet. _Business done._--Budget brought in.