WHAT _is_ a "Sphere of Influence"? Say, warlike WISSMANN; tell, pugnacious PINTO (Whom England had to give so sharp a hint to). The talk about the thing is now immense. JOHN BULL, the German, and the Portuguee, Claim each a "sphere," and that alone makes three; But what and where are they upon the map? And do they intersect or overlap? One wonders what they are and where they _can_ lie. STANLEY flouts EMIN, EMIN rounds on STANLEY; On Shire's shore raid Portuguese fire-eaters; Somewhere it seems the problematic PETERS Stirs troubles still in toiling for the Teuton. FERGUSSON'S diplomatically mute on The matter, but it scarcely seems chimerical To say these rivalries are mostly _spherical_. Delimitation's talked of, and indeed 'Tis needful, in the face of grabbing greed. Perhaps a pair of geometric compasses Might stop these rival rumpusses; For in these "Spheres of Influence" _Punch_ hears Anything but the "Music of the Spheres." * * * * * INTERESTING NOVELTY. LADY MAIDSTONE announces "an 8.30 o'clock" (to adapt the Whistlerian title when he did his "ten-and-sixpenny o'clock") at the Westminster Town Hall, for April 26, for the production of an entirely new play, entitled _Anne Tigony_, by a new and original dramatic authoress of the name of SOPHIE KLEES. It is, we understand, a domestic drama illustrative of Greek life. The great sensation scene is of course "when Greek meets Greek." This tragedy, we are informed, "refers to what, in the Greek way of thinking, are the sacred rites of the dead, and the solemn importance of burial." It is, therefore, an Anti-Cremation Society drama. The _tableaux_ are by Mrs. JOPLING, the conductor is Mr. BARNEY, and the leading _rôle_ of _Anne Tigony_ herself is to be played by my Lady MAIDSTONE. We wish SOPHIE KLEES every possible success, and a big and glorious future. Beware the Cremationists!--they might try to wreck the piece. * * * * * A RUM SUBJECT.--The Budget. * * * * * [Illustration: A DOUBTFUL COMPLIMENT. "OH YES, SIR GUS, MY HUSBAND'S AS WELL AS EVER, THANK YOU, AND HARD AT WORK. I'VE HAD TO COPY OUT HIS PAMPHLET ON BI-METALLISM _THREE TIMES_, HE ALTERS IT SO! AH, IT'S NO SINECURE TO BE MARRIED TO A MAN OF GENIUS. I OFTEN ENVY YOUR DEAR WIFE!"] * * * * * THE TIPPLER'S TRIUMPH. (_See Mr. Goschen's Budget Speech._) ALAS! we deemed him purposeless; the vinous smile that flickered up Across his glowing countenance was meaningless to us. We only saw a drunkard who addressed us, as he liquored up, Not always too politely, and in words that sounded thus. "All ri' you needn' 'shult me, I'm a berrer man than you; Mr. GOSCHEN couldn' shpare me as a shource of revenue."