* * * * * THE ROOT OF THE MATTER. (_The Sporting M.P.'s Straight Tip to Trevelyan._) In the intervals of Sport M.P.'s vamp the country's work, Therefore cut the Sessions short, Supplementary Sessions shirk. _Must_ have time to pot the grouse, _Must_ have time to hook the salmon, Spoil our Sport to help the House? Gammon!!! * * * * * LOST, somewhere between Land's End and John O'Groat's, a highly-treasured heir-loom, known as the "British Sense of Fair Play." It disappeared immediately after the issuing of the Report of the Parnell Commission, and has never been seen or heard of since. Many applicants have claimed to have re-discovered it; but, from Sir R-CH-RD W-BST-R and Sir W-LL-M H-RC-RT, to L-RD D-NR-V-N, and (last and least) Sir W. M-RR-TT, all have absolutely failed to substantiate their claims. Any Public Man, of whatever party, who can prove his possession of the lost treasure, by making a speech embodying a judicial survey of the Judges' Report, without party-feeling, special pleading, or paltry spite, will, on applying personally to _Mr. Punch_, be HANDSOMELY REWARDED!!! * * * * * PUT THIS IN YOUR PIPE. [Pipe-Major MCKELLAR has thrown doubts upon the pretty and pathetic story of "JESSIE BROWN of Lucknow."] Our faith to the winds you would chuck now, Concerning that Legend of Lucknow. That sweet Scottish girl Never heard the pipes "skirl?" Come! This is mere sceptical muck now! The Ross-shire Buffs' slogan I'll wager Will survive many stories much sager. Our faith in the tale Is confirmed, and won't fail At the word of a single Pipe-Major. * * * * * [Illustration: TIME WORKS WONDERS. (_Mr. Punch's Suggestions, à propos of the recent Discussions about Mr. Gladstone's Head._)] * * * * * MUSICAL NOTES. I HAVE just received FLORIAN PASCAL'S Music composed for _Tra la la Tosca_, published by JOSEPH WILLIAMS of Berners Street. Justice was not done to it on the stage at the Royalty, but there are two _morçeaux_ in it which ought to become popular; one being a song entitled "_Her Eye_," which, were it wedded to serious words, would be highly popular as a contralto song, just as SULLIVAN'S charming "_Hush a bye Bacon_," in _Cox and Box_, became "_Birds of the Night_." Then the Gavotte in this book is as graceful and catching as the _Gavotte de Louis Treize_, and would be in great request with orchestras and bands everywhere.