Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, April 5, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, April 5, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
one round with his own reflection, finally falling into the arms of a
companion, whom he adjures not to mind him, but to sponge up the other
fellow.
After this exploit a supper-club receives him, and he is made much of by
those of both sexes who are content to thrive temporarily on the money
of a friend. He will then drive a hansom through the streets, and,
having knocked over a hot potato-stall, he will compensate the
proprietor with a round of oaths and a five-pound note.
In appearance the Patron of Sport is unwholesome. The bloom of youth
vanished from his face before he ceased to be a boy; he assumes the worn
and sallow mask of age before he has fairly begun to be a man. His hair
is thin, and is carefully flattened by the aid of unguents, his dress is
flashy, his moustache thick. In order the more closely to imitate a true
sportsman, he wears a baggy overcoat, with large buttons. Yet he abhors
all kinds of honest exercise, and, in the days of his prosperity, keeps
a small brougham with yellow wheels. Soon after he reaches the age of
thirty, he begins to feel the effects of his variegated life. He fails
in landing a big _coup_ on the Stock Exchange, and loses much money over
a Newmarket meeting, in which he plunges on a succession of rank
outsiders, whom a set of rascals, more cunning than himself, have
represented to him as certainties. His position on the Stock Exchange
becomes shaky, and he attempts to restore it by embarking with a gang of
needy rogues on a first-class "roping" transaction, in connection with a
prize-fight in Spain. Having, however, been exposed, he is shunned by
most of those who only heard of the swindle when it was too late to join
in it.
This is the beginning of the end. He becomes careless of his appearance;
with the decrease of his means his coats become shiny, and his cuffs
more and more frayed. Eventually he falls into a state of sodden
imbecility, relieved by occasional flashes of delirium tremens, and dies
at the age of thirty-six, regretted by nobody except the faithful
bull-dog, whose silver collar was the last thing he pawned.
* * * * *
A New Opera (in Preparation).
_Librettist._ Now here's a grand effect. They all say, "We swear!" Then
there's a magnificent "Oath Chorus!" How do you propose to treat that?
_Composer._ Oath Chorus? In D Major.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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