_Countess._ And I too! Nature was too strong for us. But, oh, the joy of recovering our son--of finding him so strong, so supple, so agile. Never yet has our line boasted an heir who can feed himself from a fork strapped on to his dexter heel! _The E._ (_with emotion_). Our beloved, boneless boy! [_Re-enter_ COLTSFOOT _in modern dress, and_ Lord B. _in tights_. _Colts._ Don't I look slap-up--O.K. and no mistake? Oh, I _am_ 'aving a beano! _All._ What easy gaiety, and unforced animation! _The E._ My dear boy, let me present you to your _fiancée_. ROSE, my love, this is your _legitimate_ lover. _Colts._ Oh, all right, _I've_ no objections--on'y there'll be ructions with the young woman in the tight-rope line as I've been keepin' comp'ny with--that's all! _The E._ Your foster-brother will act as your substitute there. (_Proudly._) _My_ son must make no _mésalliance_! _Rose_ (_timidly_). And, if it would give you any pleasure, I'm sure I could soon learn the tight-rope! _Colts._ Not at _your_ time o' life. Miss, and besides, 'ang it, now I'm a lord, I can't have my wife doin' nothing low! _The E._ Spoken like a true BURNTALMOND! And now let the revels re-commence. [_Re-enter_ Mrs. HOREHOUND. _Horeh._ (_to_ Lord B.). Now then, stoopid, tumble, can't you--what are you 'ere _for_? _Lord B._ (_to the_ Earl). Since it is your command, I obey, though it is ill tumbling with a heavy heart! [_Turns head over heels laboriously._ _Colts._ Call that a somersault? 'Ere, 'old my 'at (_giving tall hat to_ Lady R.) _I'll_ show yer 'ow to do a turn. [_Throws a triple somersault._ _All._ What condescension! How his aristocratic superiority is betrayed, even in competition with those to the manner born! _Mrs. Horeh._ (_still in ignorance of the transformation_). Halt! I have kept silence till now--even from my husband, but the time has come when I _must_ speak. Think you that if he were indeed a lord, he could turn such somersaults as those? No--no. I will reveal all. (_Tells same old story--except that she herself from ambitious motives transposed the infants' bows._) Now, do with me what you will! _Horeh._ Confusion, so my ill-judged action did but redress the wrong I designed to effect! _The E._ (_annoyed_). This is a serious matter, reflecting as it does upon the legitimacy of my lately recovered son. What proof have you, woman, of your preposterous allegation? _Mrs. H._ None, my lord,--but these-- [_Exhibits two faded bunches of ribbon._ _The E._ I cannot resist such overwhelming evidence, fight against it as I may. _Lord B._ (_triumphantly_). And so--oh, Father, Mother, ROSE--dear, dear ROSE--I am no acrobat after all!