Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, February 22nd, 1890 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, February 22nd, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, February 22nd, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"Bless you, my children; bless you!" were the last words of the Grand
Old Man as he stretched forth his hands across the table. Not a dry
eye on the Treasury Bench. OLD MORALITY deeply touched, but through
his sobs managed to make acknowledgment of the unexpected clemency.
_Business done._--Address Moved.
_Thursday._--The languor in which House steeped since Debate on
Address opened, not varied to-night till, at ten o'clock, copies of
Report of Parnell Commission brought to Vote Office. Then such a
scrimmage as never before seen.
[Illustration: Fight for the Report of the Royal Commission.]
At re-opening of Debate, HOWORTH started off with reference to
Portugal. Immediately Members, with one consent, went forth,
discovering that they had special business in the Lobby, the Library,
the Tea-room, anywhere out of the House. The SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE's GATE
had not even waited for resumption of Debate to quit the scene; was
comfortably ensconsed in Smoking-room, distilling words of wisdom to
listening circle. Someone dropping in, accidentally mentioned that
HOWORTH had brought on Portugal business. SAGE jumped up nearly as
high as BOND when he saw the Mouse. Had an Amendment on the paper
referring to Portugal; had prepared a few paragraphs elucidating it.
If opportunity missed, speech would be lost. So bolted off; arrived
just in time to follow HOWORTH. Whilst discoursing, Our Latest Duke
came in, fresh from the pageant of his installation in House of Lords.
Seated in Peers' Gallery, toying with his walking-stick, thinking no
evil, started to hear his name mentioned. SAGE's quick eye had caught
sight of him.
"Halloa!" said the SAGE to himself, "here's a Duke; let's throw arf a
brick at him!"
So, with innocent manner and pretty assumption of ignorance of the
presence in Peers' Gallery of the highly favoured young gentleman with
the walking-stick, the SAGE traced all the evils of Central Africa,
leading directly up to the quarrel with Portugal, to the action of the
British South Africa Company, of which the Duke of FIFE, he said, was
a Promoter and Director.
"Very odd thing that, TOBY," said the Duke, under his breath, as he
left the Gallery on tip-toe; "most remarkable coincidence; odds seemed
to be a thousand to one against it; and yet it came off. Don't look
into Peers' Gallery twice a year; yet on very night I happened to be
there for five minutes, LABBY on his legs and talking about ME!"
_Business done._--Debate on Address.
_Friday._--A dull night, uplifted, at outset, by powerful speech
from PARNELL, and, towards finish, by Colonel SAUNDERSON riding
in, and slashing off heads all round. After him came SHEEHY.
Splendid fellow, SHEEHY; must see more of him.
"What you want is blood!" SHEEHY shouted across the House
at BALFOUR, lounging, dull and depressed, on Treasury Bench;
"I repeat the phrase--Blood!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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