DEAR MR. PUNCH,--The Camel is reported to be greatly instrumental in the spread of cholera. This is evidently the Bacterian Camel, whose humps--or is it hump?--have long been such a terror to those who really don't care a bit how many humps an animal has. Yours faithfully, HUMPHRY CAMPBELL. * * * * * To THOSE WHO GET THEIR LIVING BY DYEING.--"Sweet Auburn!" exclaimed a ruddy, aureate-haired lady of uncertain age,--anything, in fact, after fifty,--"'Sweet Auburn!'" she repeated, musingly, "What does 'Sweet Auburn' come from?" "Well," replied her husband, regarding her _coiffure_ with an air of uncertainty, "I'm not quite sure, but I think 'Sweet Auburn' should be GRAY." * * * * * MR. PUNCH'S MORAL MUSIC-HALL DRAMAS. No. V.--BRUNETTE AND BLANCHIDINE. _A Melodramatic Didactic Vaudeville, suggested by "The Wooden Doll and the Wax Doll." By the Misses Jane and Ann Taylor._ [Illustration:] DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. _Blanchidine_,} By the celebrated SISTERS STILTON, the Champion _Brunette_. } Duettists and Clog-dancers. _Fanny Furbelow._ By MISS SYLVIA SEALSKIN (_by kind permission of the Gaiety Management_). _Frank Manly._ By MR. HENRY NEVILLE. SCENE--_A Sunny Glade in Kensington Gardens, between the Serpentine and Round Pond_. _Enter_ BLANCHIDINE _and_ BRUNETTE, _with their arms thrown affectionately around one another_. BLANCHIDINE _is carrying a large and expressionless wooden doll_. _Duet and Step-dance._ _Bl._ Oh, I do adore BRUNETTE! (_Dances._) Tippity-tappity, tappity-tippity, tippity-tappity, tip-tap! _Br_. BLANCHIDINE'S the sweetest pet! (_Dances._) Tippity-tappity, &c. _Together._ When the sun is high, We come out to ply, Nobody is nigh, All is mirth and j'y! With a pairosol, We'll protect our doll, Make a mossy bed For her wooden head! [_Combination step-dance, during which both watch their feet with an air of detached and slightly amused interest, as if they belonged to some other persons._ Clickity-clack, clickity-clack, clickity, clickity, clickity-clack; clackity-clickity, clickity-clackity, clackity-clickity-_clack_! [_Repeat ad. lib._ _Bl._ (_apologetically to Audience_). Her taste in dress is rather plain! (_Dances._) Tippity-tappity, &c. _Br._ (_in pitying aside_). It _is_ a pity she's so vain! (_Dances._) Tippity-tappity, &c. _Bl._ 'Tis a shime to smoile, But she's shocking stoyle, It is quite a troyal, Still--she mikes a foil! _Br._ Often I've a job To suppress a sob, She is such a snob, When she meets a nob! [_Step-dance as before._