Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, February 8, 1890 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, February 8, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, February 8, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
[_Rushes off stage with wooden doll._
_Bl._ (_making a feeble attempt to follow_). Come back, BRUNETTE; don't
leave me thus, in charity!
_F._ (_with contempt_). Well, I'll be off--since you seem to prefer
vulgarity.
_Bl._ No, stay--but--ah, she said--what if she _meant_ it?
_F._ Not she! And, if she did, _we_ can't prevent it.
_Bl._ (_relieved_). That's true--we'll play, and think no more about
her.
_F._ (_sarcastically_). We may _just_ manage to get on without her!
So come--(_perceives doll lying face upwards on path_)--you odious
girl, what have you done?
Left LADY MINNIE lying in the blazing sun!
'Twas done on purpose--oh, you _thing_ perfidious! [_Stamps._
You _knew_ she'd melt, and get completely hideous!
Don't answer _me_, Miss--I wish we'd never met.
You're only fit for persons like BRUNETTE!
[_Picks up doll, and exit in passion._
_Grand Sensation Descriptive Soliloquy, by_ BLANCHIDINE, _to
Melodramatic Music._
_Bl._ Gone! Ah, I am rightly punished! What would I not give now to
have homely little BRUNETTE, and dear old wooden-headed TIMBURINA back
again! _She_ wouldn't melt in the sun.... Where are they now? Great
Heavens! that threat--that rash resolve ... I remember all! 'Twas in
the direction of the Pond they vanished. (_Peeping anxiously between
trees._) Are they still in sight?... Yes, I see them! BRUNETTE has
reached the water's edge.... What is she purposing! Now she kneels on
the rough gravel; she is making TIMBURINA kneel too! How calm and
resolute they both appear! (_Shuddering._) I dare not look
further--but, ah, I must--_I must!_... Horror! I saw her boots flash
for an instant in the bright sunlight; and now the ripples have
closed, smiling over her little black stockings!... Help!--save her,
somebody!--help!... Joy! a gentleman has appeared on the scene--how
handsome, how brave he looks! He has taken in the situation at a
glance! With quiet composure he removes his coat--oh, _don't_ trouble
about folding it up!--and why, _why_ remove your gloves, when there is
not a moment to be lost? Now, with many injunctions, he entrusts his
watch to a bystander, who retires, overcome by emotion. And now--oh,
gallant, heroic soul!--now he is sending his toy terrier into the
seething water! (_Straining eagerly forward._) Ah, the dog paddles
bravely out--he has reached the spot ... oh, he has passed it!--he is
trying to catch a duck! Dog, dog, _is_ this a time for pursuing ducks?
At last he understands--he dives ... he brings up--agony! a small tin
cup! Again ... _this_ time, surely--what, only an old pot-hat!... Oh,
this dog is a fool! And still the Round Pond holds its dread secret!
Once more ... yes--no, yes, it _is_ TIMBURINA! Thank Heaven, she yet
breathes! But BRUNETTE? Can she have stuck in the mud at the bottom?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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