_The Descriptive Man_. They've got both the fences up now, d'ye see? There's the judges going to start the jumping; each rider's got a ticket with his number on his back. See? The first man's horse don't seem to care about jumping this afternoon--see how he's dancing about. Now he's going at it--there, he's cleared it! Now he'll have to jump the next one! [_Keeps up a running fire of these instructive and valuable observations throughout the proceedings._ [Illustration] _The Judge of Horseflesh._ Rare good shoulders that one has. _The Severe Critic (taking the remark to apply to the horse's rider)._ H'm, yes--rather--pity he sticks his elbows out quite so much, though. [_His Friend regards him in silent astonishment._ _Another Competitor clears a fence, but exhibits a considerable amount of daylight._ _The Saturnine Stableman (encouragingly)._ You'll 'ev to set back a bit next journey, Guv'nor! _The Cockney Groom._ 'Orses 'ud jump better if the fences was a bit 'igher. _The S. S._ They'll be plenty 'oigh enough fur some on 'em. _The Severe Critic._ Ugly seat that fellow has--all anyhow when the horse jumps. _Judge of Horseflesh._ Has he? I didn't notice--I was looking at the horse. [_Severe Critic feels snubbed._ _The S. S. (soothingly, as the Competitor with the loose seat comes round again)._ That's not good, Guv'nor! _The Cockney Groom._ 'Ere's a little bit o' fashion coming down next--why, there's quite a boy on his back. _The S. S._ 'E won't be on 'im long if he don't look out. Cup an' ball _I_ call it! _The Morbid Man._ I suppose there's always a accident o' some sort before they've finished. _First Woman._ Oh, don't, for goodness sake, talk like that--I'm sure _I_ don't want to see nothing 'appen. _Second Woman._ Well, you may make your mind easy--for you won't see nothing here; you _would_ have it this was the best place to come to! _First Woman._ I only said there was no sense in paying extra for the balcony, when you can go in the area for nothing. _Second Woman (snorting)._ Area, indeed! It might be a good deal airier than what it is, I'm sure--I shall melt if I stay here much longer. _The Morbid Man._ There's one thing about being so close to the jump as this--if the 'orse jumps sideways--as 'osses will do every now and then--he'll be right in among us before we know where we are, and then there'll be a pretty how-de-do! _Second Woman (to her Friend)._ Oh, come away, do--it's bad enough to see nothing, let alone having a great 'orse coming down atop of us, and me coming out in my best bonnet, too--come away! [_They leave._ _The Descriptive Man._ Now they're going to make 'em do some in-and-out jumping, see? they're putting the fences close together--that'll puzzle some of them--ah, he's over both of 'em; very clean that one jumps! Over again! He's got to do it all twice, you see. _The Judge of Horseflesh._ Temperate horse, that chestnut.