There are blades flashing beside us, Dropping astern one by one. Now they creep up--they have tied us-- No! The spurt dies--they are done! Gods of the 'Varsity guide us!-- Bang! "Easy all!" We have won! * * * * * THE Coal Strike was easily settled, as all that had to be discussed were "Miner Considerations." * * * * * "FOR THIS RELIEF, MUCH THANKS!" "As a sign of this gratitude, I confer upon you the dignity of Duke of LAUENBURG, and shall also send you my life-sized Portrait."--_The German Emperor to Prince Bismarck._ GOD bless you, dear Prince! Since your purpose is fixed, It is useless, I know, to dissuade you. I permit you to go, though my feelings are mixed, And unmake, as my grandfather made, you. Yet deem not ungrateful your Emperor and King; Let me pay you my thanks at the Court rate. So I make you a Duke, ere I let you take wing, And, O Prince, I will send you my Portrait! O Pilot undaunted, brave heart and strong hand When our planks were all riven asunder, You alone grasped the helm, and took boldly your stand, Nor blanched at the blast and the thunder. And now, safe in port, we award you a prize Of a value that men of your sort rate. So, Prince, I will have myself painted life-size Every inch, and I'll send you the Portrait. Fresh storms may be brewing. I'll face them myself. I am young, and, O Prince, you grow older. Stay ashore, if you wish it, retire to the shelf, And let those steer the ship who are bolder. Yet it shall not be said that, in parting from you, Your King gave his thanks at a short rate; So be henceforth a Duke, and accept as your due What I gratefully grant you--my Portrait! * * * * * A RATEPAYER'S REPLY. _To Mr. Stanhope's Latest Serio-comic, Patriotic Song._ [Illustration] YOUR story's good, STANHOPE, as far as it runs, For JOHN BULL, at last, looks like getting his guns. But though you talk big on the strength of the four With which you've just managed to arm Singapore, We would like you to state precisely how long 'Twill take you to get the next batch to Hong Kong! For you talk in a not very confident way Of those that are destined to guard Table Bay. Your speech, too, with doubt seems decidedly laden, When noting the present defences of Aden. Though you finish the list with the news, meant to cheer That Ceylon "should be" safe by the end of the year. You think, to sum up, that a gratified nation Should greet your glad statement with wild jubilation! Well, the country does not get too often a chance Of an honest excuse for a genuine dance, And would step it quite gladly, if only assured It could once from old dodges feel safely secured, Being certain its guns, before setting to caper, Do not exist merely on War-Office paper! * * * * *