Ah, here we are at Dover! Meet JONES--of course, he is going to welcome STANLEY. So are SNOOKS and SMITH. And, as I live, old TOMPKINS! Well, this is very plucky of old TOMPKINS. Thought he was dead years ago. Says he would not miss STANLEY for worlds. More would I. Great privilege to welcome him. Feel it most deeply. The greatest explorer of the age. But sea-air has made me a trifle hungry and thirsty. I daresay lunch is going on somewhere. Find it isn't! Deputation of Vergers, seemingly from Canterbury Cathedral, headed by a beadle, carrying an ear-trumpet, forcing their way through crowd. Police arrangements the reverse of satisfactory. Distinguished proprietor of influential newspaper hustled--possibly mistaken for EMIN PASHA, who would be _de trop_ on such an occasion. But must have lunch. Not up to form of Signor SUCCI. So avoid the brilliant but giddy throng, and find out a favourite little restaurant close to the Lord Warden. French _plats_ and some excellent _Grave_. Know the _Grave_ of old--seldom asked for, and so kept long in bottle. Order a nice little luncheon and feel rather sleepy. Luncheon ready. Do it justice, and fancy suddenly that I am in charge of the lamp in a lighthouse. Rough night. Ah! the life-boat! manned by old TOMPKINS (adventurous chap old TOMPKINS) SNOOKS, JONES, SMITH and BROWN. Thought latter had gone to Canada! Open eyes with a start. Waiter and bill. Bless me, how late it is. Must be off at once to welcome STANLEY. Meet old TOMPKINS, SNOOKS, JONES and SMITH instead. They tell me that they have all welcomed STANLEY. Found him being "run into" the train by two policemen! Thought him looking very well. Didn't I? Ask, where is he now? Don't I know? Why gone back by the special! Thought I must have missed it on purpose. Hurry away in bad temper. May catch him up. Pop into fast train just starting. Scenery bad. Weather horrid. Fellow travellers unsupportable. Ah, here we are at last at Victoria. One satisfaction--BROWN didn't welcome him either. Why here _is_ BROWN on the platform--do him a last good turn--describe STANLEY. I tell him that the great explorer looks younger than ever, wears big cap, white suit, revolver and field-glasses. Every inch a portrait in the _Daily Graphic_! BROWN says, "That's strange, as he didn't look like _that_ when _he_ saw him!" Appears BROWN put off trip to Canada to welcome him. Can't be helped! Shall meet STANLEY somewhere (movements advertised daily in the _Times_) and when I _do_ won't I give him a bit of my mind, for not waiting long enough to let me welcome him! * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. _House of Commons, Monday, April 21._--House really beginning to fill up. HARTINGTON back from the Riviera. First time he has appeared this Session; lounged in with pretty air of having been there yesterday and just looked in again. Blushed with surprise to find Members on both sides welcoming him with cheer.