_Jane._ But you _are_! _Tommy._ And so are _you_! [_Melancholy music; to which_ TOMMY _and_ JANE, _after a few convulsive movements, gradually become inanimate. Enter old Farmer_ COPEER _from gate, carrying a large bottle labelled "Cattle Medicine."_ _Farmer C._ It's time I gave the old bay mare her drench. [_Stumbles over the children._ What's here? A lifeless lad!--and little wench! Been eatin' berries--where did they get _them_ idees? For cows, when took so, I've the reg'lar remedies. I'll try 'em here--and if their state the worse is, Why, they shall have them balls I give my 'erses! [_Carries the bodies off just before the W. U. re-enters._ _W. U._ The children--gone? yon bush of berries less full! Hooray, my little stratagem's successful! [_Dances a triumphant pas seul. Re-enter Farmer C._ _Farmer C._ Been looking for your little niece and nephew? _The W. U._ Yes, searching for them everywhere-- _Farmer C. (ironically)._ Oh, _hev'_ you? Then let me tell you, from all pain they're free, Sir. _The W. U. (falling on his knees)._ _I_ didn't poison them--it wasn't _me_, Sir! _Farmer C._ I thought as much--a constable I'll run for. [_Exit._ _The W. U._ My wretched nerves again! _this_ time I'm done for! Well, though I'm trapped and useless all disguise is, My case shall ne'er come on at the Assizes! [_Rushes desperately to tree and crams himself with the remaining berries, which produce an almost instantaneous effect. Re-enter_ TOM _and_ JANE _from gate, looking pale and limp. Terror of the_ Wicked Uncle _as he turns and recognises them._ _The W. U. (with tremulous politeness)._ The shades of JANE and TOMMY, I presume? [_Re-enter Farmer C._ _Jane and Tommy (pointing to Farmer C.)_ His Cattle Mixtures snatched us from the Tomb! _The W. U. (with a flicker of hope)._ Why, then the selfsame drugs will ease my torments! _Farmer C. (chuckling.)_ Too late! they've drunk the lot, the little vormints! _The W. U. (bitterly)._ So out of life I must inglorious wriggle, Pursued by TOMMY'S grin, and JENNY'S giggle! [_Dies in great agony, while_ TOMMY, JANE, _and_ Farmer COPEER _look on with mixed emotions as the Curtain falls_. * * * * * [Illustration: RECIPROCAL HOSPITALITY. _First Distinguished Colonist._ "BY THE WAY, HAVE YOU SEEN ANYTHING OF THAT NICE YOUNG FELLOW, LORD LIMPET, SINCE YOU CAME TO LONDON--THE MAN WHO STAYED WITH YOU SO MANY MONTHS AT YOUR STATION LAST YEAR?" _Second Ditto, Ditto._ "OH YES! I MET HIM THE OTHER NIGHT AT LADY BOVRIL'S RECEPTION, AND HE KINDLY BESTOWED UPON ME THE UNUSED HALF OF A SMILE WHICH HE HAD PUT TOGETHER FOR A PASSING DUKE!"] * * * * * THE NEW DANCE OF DEATH.