Lawks! this _is_ lovely! But, SMITHY my lad, In the midst of Arcadian beauty--an beauty, You mustn't forget (the reflection is sad) What is due to your Country and Duty--and Duty. That's why I have brought down this Holiday Task. Though slumber-inviting the weather--the weather, I'll turn my true hands, whilst in sunshine I bask, To the use of the brush and wash-leather--wash-leather! It's got a bit rusty from sheer want of use; Though they tell me I'm promptish at pouncing--at pouncing. Ah me! E'en an angel comes in for abuse, Or _me_ they would not be denouncing--denouncing. A crocodile's sure to be down on the Gag, And HARCOURT'S a fair alligator--ligator; He's awfully wide in the jaw, for a wag, But _I_'ll tie up the would-be dictator--dictator! They're out without muzzles, the whole noisy pack, (I wish some sharp Bobby would run 'em in--run 'em in,) But _I'll_ be prepared for them when they come back. The fight for free jaw I have done 'em in--done 'em in. Good gracious! One's duty to Country and Queen Cannot be well done, as all know, by a--know, by a Man amidst yelpings of furious spleen, Suggestive of sheer hydrophobia--phobia! And so, whilst _sub tegmine fagi_ I sit, And pass in May sunshine a jolly day--jolly day, I think I'll just brush up this weapon a bit, And so make a good use of my holiday--holiday. They're bound to come back, and if barking they come, I'll be ready--and willing--to muzzle 'em--muzzle 'em. Dumb dogs may bite, but when _this_ makes 'em dumb, To bite us, I fancy, will puzzle 'em--puzzle 'em! [_Left smiling and scrubbing._ * * * * * MR. DUNTHORNE of Vigo Street is exhibiting a collection of "Atmospheric Notes," which are not, as Esoteric Buddhists might conclude, missives forwarded by astral current from a Mahatma, but a series of very charming pastels, by Mr. GEORGE HITCHCOCK. They are records of land, sea, and sky effects in Holland, characterised by a poetry and feeling, and a subtlety of colour that give equal pleasure to mind and eye. _Mr. Punch_ predicts, that the fortunate possessor of any one of these Notes, will be in no hurry to change it. [Illustration: "COUNTRY AND DUTY." MR. W. H. S. "IT'S GOT A LITTLE RUSTY,--BUT I'LL HAVE IT READY IN TIME!"] * * * * * [Illustration: AN UNKIND SUGGESTION. _Cabby (who has been paid his legal fare in threepenny bits and coppers)._ "WHERE DID YER GET THIS LOT FROM, EH? BEEN A ROBBIN' THE CHILD'S MONEY-BOX?"] * * * * * ROBERT AT GUILDHALL.