_Crimson Jack_ is a good horse--no thanks to the puddling and pilfering slop-shop proprietors who manage him. When he used to draw a dust-cart in Grosvenor Square he accustomed himself to the sound of the saddling bell, and now knows when luncheon time has arrived. A year ago, I wouldn't have given a copper shirt-stud for him, never having even heard of him. Now I believe him to be worth even more than the L10 given for him by the Ropes Contingent. But I have got my eye on them, and they know it. The mooncalves * * * gruel-brains * * * puddling simpletons * * * muddy and pernicious rascals * * * dolts, dumplings and dunderheads * * * poisonous, pestilential, crawling, goose-faced reptiles * * * rely on it I know. * * * [There has been no time to send this proof for correction, and it has, therefore, been printed as it was received, gaps and all.--ED. _Punch._] * * * * * [Illustration: A LITTLE PARTY IN EAST AFRICA ONLY GOING TO COLLECT A FEW BUTTERFLIES AND FLOWERS FOR THE DEAR KAISER, THAT IS ALL!! "We came very near to having Kilima-Njaro attached to the British Empire, only the German Emperor said he would very much like it, because he was so fond of the _flora_ and _fauna_ of the place.... Would the English have expected to get any territory on account of their great interest in the _flora_ and _fauna_ here."--_Stanley speaking at Chamber of Commerce, May 21._] * * * * * WEEK BY WEEK. _Monday and Tuesday._--Nothing particular, except meeting Mr. STANLEY. _Wednesday._--_Mr. Punch_ comes out. General rejoicings. _Thursday._--Milk Adulteration Contest at Wormwood Scrubbs. Cat-shooting in Eaton Square commences. Treacle-makers' Company insist on presenting their Bicentenary Gold Medal to Mr. STANLEY. _Friday._--Private Eclipse of the Sun, invisible to everybody, except Mr. STANLEY. _Saturday._--Banquet of the Bargain-Drivers' Benevolent Association. Song by Mr. STANLEY, _Meet me by Moonlight_. _Sunday._--Festival of the Five Quires for a Shilling. Everybody in "Go-to-Meeting-STANLEY Costume." _Monday._--Afternoon Firework Display at the People's Palace. * * * * * SOME amusement was created at the Anniversary Dinner of the United Crossing-Sweepers' Provident Association, held last night, by the Noble Chairman's reference to his early experiences on a West End crossing. What he saw then had led him to believe, he said, that the lot of one who preserves the boots of the public from mud is not all beer and skittles. He had, however, formed a very exalted idea of the dignity of the calling to which they all belonged. It is, of course, well known that the Noble Earl owed his rise from the position of broom-holder to an opportune legacy from an old lady, whom he saved, at the risk of his own life, from being ground to powder by a runaway costermonger's barrow. * * * * *