Scarcely had we started when our officer, the pride of the platoon, threw up his hands and fell. A moment later, chancing on a piece of tempting grass, I decided to lie down, and with a choking gurgle collapsed. As I lay on my back in an appropriate attitude (copied from the cinema) I wondered when the stretcher-party would appear, for the grass was damp and the April wind was chilly; but it was not long before a bright boy, rather over than under military age, ran up and, after a brief glance at me, began to signal with great vigour. He meant well, and out of consideration for his feelings I restrained a desire to tell him that he was creating a beastly draught. However, I asked him if he had any brandy, and, on receiving an answer in the negative, groaned deeply. "Are you very bad?" he asked. "No," I replied; "but if I lie here much longer I'll catch cold. Tell your people to hurry up." When the stretcher-party arrived they decided that I had been shot in the chest, and, to get at the wound, began to remove my garments, till arrested by some virile language thrown off from the part affected. Then they began to carry me towards the gate of the park, despite the fact that the stretcher had been meant to hold someone about six inches shorter than I. Almost immediately the rear man, tripping on a root, fell on top of me, and the front man, being brought to a sudden stop, sat on my feet. When we had sorted ourselves out, and I had stopped talking, more from lack of breath than of matter, we resumed our journey. After a matter of some three hundred yards the bearers began to feel tired, and, suddenly rolling me off the stretcher, they informed me that I was discharged as cured. Thus rapidly does a soldier of the Volunteers recover. It speaks volumes not only for their high state of physical condition but for the resilience of their _moral_. * * * * * Intelligent Anticipation. "Bucharest, 8.--The 'Universul' has opened a list of subscriptions in favour of the widows and victims of the coming Austro-Roumanian war."--_Balkan News._ * * * * * "'WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD' AT THE ---- PICTURE THEATRE."--_Hastings Observer._ The management doesn't mind so long as the fools rush in. * * * * * "The Smyth-Pigotts are the owners of Brockley Court and Brockley Hall, near Congresbury, a pretty village which--like Majoribanks--is pronounced Coomesbury."--_Daily Sketch._ Just as, according to the old story, Cholmondeley is pronounced Marjoribanks. * * * * * "Monster Carnival! In aid of Returned Soldiers' Association. Novel Attractions!!! Realistic Egyptian Pillage, just as our soldiers saw it. Egyptian goods can be purchased here."--_Adelaide Register._ We hope this does not mean that our gallant Anzacs have been spoiling the Egyptians.