There was also on our boat a subaltern, coming to France for the first time. He wanted me to tell him all about it. How well I know these subalterns who want to know all about it. I was one myself once. Does he ask you what it's like in the mud? Does he listen if you give him details of bloodshed? Does he inquire about the food, the washing facilities, parapet or parados; what a time-fuse does when its time has expired, or even as to the use and abuse of the entrenching tool? No, he's for war only, and there's only one question in war: Do you or do you not need a Sam Browne belt in the trenches? It is an old question; there is no solution. I told him that some say one thing and some say another, and, as both are authorities with whom you are not in a position to argue, the only way to get out of the difficulty is to keep out of the trenches. Yours ever, HENRY. * * * * * [Illustration: OUR AMAZON CORPS "STANDING EASY."] * * * * * From a hotel advertisement:-- "EXCELLENT CUISINE. SEPARATE STABLES." _West-Country Paper._ The WISE KING must have had a presentiment of this arrangement when he wrote: "Better a dinner of herbs, where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith." * * * * * "The Premier (Sir Alexander Peacock) said that many years ago, when the world rang with the atrocities of Turks, Rev. Dr. Parker startled the whole world when, in a fiery address on those awful atrocities which were visited on the Christians, he cried, 'Dod damn the Sultan.' Now, when they heard of the cruelties and indescribable sufferings which had been visited upon the innocent people in order to satisfy the ideas of one man they could say, 'Kod damn the Kaiser.' (Great cheers)."--_Sydney Daily Telegraph._ Strong language for a Premier! But the printer has done his best to tone it down. * * * * * NURSERY RHYMES OF LONDON TOWN. VIII.--ORCHARD STREET. The fruit hangs ripe, the fruit hangs sweet, High and low in my Orchard Street, Apples and pears, cherries and plums, Something for everyone who comes. If you're a Pedlar I'll give you a medlar; If you're a Prince I'll give you a quince; If you're a Queen, A nectarine; If you're the King Take anything, Apricots, mulberries, melons or red and white Currants like rubies and pearls on a string! Little girls each Shall have a peach, Boys shall have grapes that hang just out of reach-- Nothing's to pay, whatever you eat Of the fruit that grows in my Orchard Street. * * * * * "USEFL. hlp. ckng. no wshg. fam. 2." _Morning Paper._ Th. is rl. wd. plp. ecnmy.