Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. CLVIII, January 7, 1920Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. CLVIII, January 7, 1920
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
One who can "reverse," it is hoped.
* * * * *
"Considering the greatness of the provocation, Centralia,
Wash., yesterday showed a calmness worthy of an American
community. There were no farther attempts at lynching after
the hanging of the secretary of the I.W.W. organisation on
Tuesday night." _American Paper._
Oh, my friends, let us strive to emulate the calmness of Centralia,
Wash.
* * * * *
A LETTER TO THE BACK-BLOCKS.
DEAR GINGER,--A Merry Christmas to you! A bit late, you say? On the
contrary, in plenty of time. It is next Christmas I am referring
to. Over there, in your tropical land, when the sun stings your
skin through your shirt and the sand blisters your feet through your
boot-soles, when you butter your bread with a soup-ladle and the
mercury boils merrily in the barometer, then, vainly pawing the air
for mosquitoes with one hand and reaching for the siphon with the
other, you gasp, "Gad! it must be getting on for Christmas-time."
But over here in England, where the seasons wheel round without any
appreciable difference in temperature, where, if it were not for the
gentleman who writes the calendars, nobody would know whether to wear
straw-hats or snow-shoes, Christmas comes sneaking up behind you and
grabs you by the pocket before you have time to dodge. "Christmas Eve
already!" you exclaim. "Christmas Eve! and there's dear old Tom
in Penang and good old Dick in Patagonia and poor old Harry in
Princetown, and I've not written a word of cheer to any of them and
now have no time to do so." That's what happened to me this year,
anyhow; but I'm determined it shall not occur again, so--A Merry
Christmas to you, Ginger.
This my first Yule in the Old Country, after many in foreign climes,
was not an unqualified success. On the morning of Christmas Eve I
went for a walk and lost myself. After wading through bog systems and
bramble entanglements for some hours I came out behind a spinney and
there spied a small urchin with red cheeks and a red woollen muffler
standing beneath a holly-tree. On sighting me he gave vent to a loud
and piteous howl. I asked him where his pain was, and he replied that
he wanted some holly for decorations, but was too short to reach it.
I thereupon swarmed the shrub, plucked and tossed the richly berried
boughs to the poor little chap. In return he showed me where I
lived--which indeed was not two hundred yards distant, but concealed
by the thicket.
Later in the day Edward came in to tea, much annoyed. Bolshevism, he
declared, was within our gates. He had been out to collect Christmas
decorations in his own private fenced spinney, and confound it if some
scoundrels hadn't been and gone and stripped his pet holly-tree of
every twig! Anarchy was yapping at the door.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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