The first prize was awarded to Master Palmerston, for a successful _design_ for completely frustrating certain commercial _views_ upon China, and for his new invention of _auto-painting_. Prize: an order upon Truefit for a new wig. Master John Russell was next called up.--This talented young gentleman had designed a gigantic "penny loaf;" which, although too immense for practical use, yet, his efforts having been exclusively directed to fanciful design, and not to practical possibility, was highly applauded. Master Russell also evinced a highly precocious talent for _drawing_--his salary. Prize: a splendidly-bound copy of the New Marriage Act. The fortunate candidate next upon the list, was Master Normanby. This young gentleman brought forward a beautiful design for a new prison, so contrived for criminals to be excluded from light and society, in any degree proportionate with their crimes. This young gentleman was brought up in Ireland, but there evinced considerable talent in _drawing_ prisoners out of durance vile. He was much complimented on the salutary effect upon his studies, which his pupilage at the school of design had wrought. Prize: an order from Colburn for a new novel. Master Melbourne, who was next called up, seemed a remarkably fine boy of his age, though a little too old for his short jacket. He had signalised himself by an exceedingly elaborate _design_ for the Treasury benches. This elicited the utmost applause; for, by this plan, the seats were so ingeniously contrived, that, once occupied, it would be a matter of extreme difficulty for the sitter to be _absquatulated_, even by main force. Prize: a free ticket to the licensed victuallers' dinner. The Prince then withdrew, amidst the acclamations of the assembled multitude. * * * * * A HINT TO THE NEW LORD CHAMBERLAIN. There is always much difference of opinion existing as to the number of theatres which ought to be licensed in the metropolis. Our friend Peter Borthwick, whose mathematical acquirements are only equalled by his "_heavy fathers_," has suggested the following formula whereby to arrive at a just conclusion:--Take the number of theatres, multiply by the public-houses, and divide by the dissenting chapels, and the quotient will be the answer. This is what Peter calls [Illustration: COMING TO A DIVISION.] * * * * * VOCAL EVASION. LADY B---- (who, it is rumoured, has an eye to the bedchamber) was interrogating Sir Robert Peel a little closer than the wily minister _in futuro_ approved of. After several very evasive answers, which had no effect on the lady's pertinacity, Sir Robert made her a graceful bow, and retired, humming the favourite air of-- [Illustration: "OH! I CANNOT GIVE EXPRESSION."] * * * * * A PUN FROM THE ROW.