Captain Rous will move for a return of the number of high-spirited Tories who were conveyed on stretchers to the different station-houses, on the night of the ever-to-be-remembered Drury-lane dinner. Sir E.L. Bulwer will move for a return of all the half-penny ballads published by Catnach and Co. during the last year. Morgan O'Connell will move for a return of all the brogues worn by the bare-footed peasantry of Ireland. Colonel Sibthorp will move for a return of his wits. Peter Borthwick will move for a return of all the kettles convicted of singing on the Sabbath-day. Sir Robert Peel will move for a return of all the ladies of the palace--to the places from whence they came. Ben D'Israeli will move for a return of all the hard words in Johnson's Dictionary. * * * * * RATHER OMINOUS! The _Sunday Times_ states, that "several of the _heads_ of the Conservative party held a conference at _Whitehall_ Gardens!" _Heads_ and _conferences_ have been cut short enough at the same place ere now! * * * * * HEAVY LIGHTNESS. A joke Col. Sibthorp to the journal sent-- Appropriate heading--"_Serious Accident_." * * * * * A MATTER OF COURSE. The match at cricket, between the Chelsea and Greenwich Pensioners, was decided in favour of the latter. Captain Rous says, no great wonder, considering the winners bad the majority of _legs_ on their side. The Hyllus affair has made him an authority. * * * * * THE DRAMA. THE ITALIAN OPERA. RETIREMENT OF RUBINI. (_Exclusive_.) N.B.--PUNCH is delighted to perceive, from the style of this critique, that, though anonymously sent, it is manifestly from the pen of the elegant critic of the _Morning Post_. [Illustration: O]On a review of the events of the past season, the _souvenirs_ it presents are not calculated to elevate the character of the arts _di poeta_ and _di musica_, of which the Italian Opera is composed. The only decided _nouveautes_ which made their appearance, were "Fausta," and "Roberto Devereux," both of them _jejune_ as far as regards their _libretto_ and the _composita musicale_. The latter opera, however, serving as it did to introduce a pleasing _rifacciamento_ of the lamented Malibran, in her talented sister Pauline (Madame Viardot), may, on that account, be remembered as a pleasing reminiscence of the past season.