Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, August 7, 1841Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, August 7, 1841
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
We shall not go into those ingenious calculations that some astronomers
have indulged in, as to the time it would take for a cannon-ball to come
from the sun to the earth, for we really hope the earth will never be
troubled by so unwelcome a visitor. Nor shall we throw out any suggestions
as to how long a bullet would be going from the globe to the moon; for we
do not think any one would be found goose enough to take up his rifle with
the intention of trying the experiment.
Comets are, at present, though very luminous bodies, involved in
considerable obscurity. Though there is plenty of light in comets, we are
almost entirely in the dark concerning them. All we know about them is,
that they are often coming, but never come, and that, after frightening us
every now and then, by threatening destruction to our earth, they turn
sharp off, all of a sudden, and we see no more of them. Astronomers have
spied at them, learned committees have sat upon them, and old women have
been frightened out of their wits by them; but, notwithstanding all this,
the _comet_ is so utterly mysterious, that "thereby _hangs a tail_" is all
we are prepared to say respecting it.
We trust the above remarks will have thrown a light on the sun and moon,
illustrated the stars, and furnished a key to the skies in general; but
those who require further information are referred to Messrs. Adams and
Walker, whose plans of the universe, consisting of several yellow spots on
a few yards of black calico, are exactly the things to give the students of
astronomy a full development of those ideas which it has been our aim to
open out to him.
* * * * *
NEW STUFFING FOR THE SPEAKER'S CHAIR.
"With too much blood and too little brain, these two may run mad;
but if with too much brain and too little blood, they do, I'll be a
curer of madmen."--_Troilus and Cressida_.
MR. PETER BORTHWICK and Colonel Sibthorpe are both named as candidates for
the Speaker's chair. Peter has a certificate of being "a _bould_ speaker,"
from old Richardson, in whose company he was engaged as parade-clown and
check-taker. The gallant Colonel, however, is decidedly the favourite,
notwithstanding his very ungracious summary of the Whigs some time ago. We
would give one of the buttons off our hump to see
[Illustration: SIBTHORPE IN THE CHAIR.]
* * * * *
MR. JOSEPH MUGGINS begs to inform his old crony, PUNCH, that the report of
Sir John Pullon, "as to the possibility of elevating an ass to the head of
the poll by bribery and corruption" is perfectly correct, provided there is
no abatement in the price. Let him canvass again, and Mr. J.M. pledges
himself, whatever his weight, if he will only stand "one penny more, up
goes the donkey!"
[Illustration: CANDIDATE AT THE HEAD OF THE POLE.]
* * * * *
OLD BAILEY.
Robbed--Melbourne's butcher of his twelvemonth's billings.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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