Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, CompleteVarious
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Fortunately for the success of my grandfathers invasion of the
aristocratic rights, it occurred on the eve of a general election, and
as he had the command of six or eight votes in the county, his interest
was a matter of some importance to the candidates. Be that as it may, it
was with feelings little short of absolute dismay, that the respectable
inhabitants of the extensive village of Ballybreesthawn beheld the
metamorphosed tenant of The Devils Half-acre, walking arm-in-arm down
the street with Sir Denis Daly, the popular candidate. At all events,
this public and familiar promenade had the effect of establishing Mister
John Duffys dubious gentility. He was invited to dine the same day by
the attorney; and on the following night the apothecary proposed his
admission as a member of the Ballybreesthawn Liberal reading-room. It
was even whispered that Bill Costigan, who went twice a-year to Dublin
for goods, was trying to strike up a match between Shawn, who was a hale
widower, and his aunt, an ancient spinster, who was set down by report
as a fortune of seven hundred pounds. Negotiations were actually set on
foot, and several preliminary bottles of potteen had been drunk by the
parties concerned, when, unfortunately, in the high road to happiness,
my poor grandfather caught a fever, and popped off, to the inexpressible
grief of the expectant bride, who declared her intention of dying in the
virgin state; to which resolution, there being no dissentient voice, it
was carried nem. con.
Thus died the illustrious founder of our family; but happy was it for
posterity that the yellow-topped boots did not die along with him;
these, with the red waistcoat, the leather breeches, and plated spurs,
remained to raise the fortunes of our house to a higher station. The
waistcoat has been long since numbered with the waistcoats before the
flood; the buckskins, made of sterner stuff, stood the wear and tear
of the world for a length of time, but at last were put out of
commission; while the boots, more fortunate or tougher than their
leathern companions, endured more than forty years of actual service
through all the ramifications of our extensive family. In this time they
had suffered many dilapidations; but by the care and ingenuity of the
family cobbler, they were always kept in tolerable order, and performed
their duty with great credit to themselves, until an unlucky accident
deprived me of my old and valued friends.
POOR JOHN BULL. That knowing jockey Sir Robert Peel has stated that the
old charger, John Bull, is, from over-feeding, growing restive and
unmanageablekicking up his heels, and playing sundry tricks extremely
unbecoming in an animal of his advanced age and many infirmities. To
keep down this playful spirit, Sir Robert proposes that a new burthen be
placed upon his back in the shape of a house-tax, pledging himself that
it shall be heavy enough to effect the desired purpose. Commend us to
these Toriesthey are rare fellows for
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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