Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, CompleteVarious
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
COUNSELLOR BAYWIG.My lord, I fear the cases are, on the whole, rather
adverse to us. Men have, undoubtedly, been chosen to administer the laws
of this fine estate, and to guard it from waste, who have studied its
customs, been thoroughly learned in its statistics, and interested, by
blood and connexion, in its prosperity; but this number is very small.
However, when injustice of the most grievous kind is manifest, it should
not be continued merely because it is the custom, or because it is an
old institution of the country.
LORD HIGH INQUISITOR.I am quite astonished at your broaching such
abominable doctrines here, sir. You a lawyer, and yet talk of justice in
a Court of Equity! By Bacon, Blackstone, and Eldon, tis marvellous! Mr.
Baywig, if you proceed, I shall feel it my duty to commit you for a
contempt of court.
COUNSELLOR BAYWIG.My lord, in that case I decline the honour of
addressing your lordship further; but certainly my poor client is
wronged in his land, in himself, and in his kindred. It is shocking
personal insult added to terrible pecuniary punishment.
LORD HIGH INQUISITOR.Serve him right! We dismiss the application with
costs.
THE ADVANTAGES OF STYLE. Some of the uninitiated in the art and mystery
of book-making conceive the chief tax must be upon the compilers brain.
We give the following as a direct proof to the contraryone that has the
authority of Lord Hamlet, who summed the matter up in three
Words! Words! Words!
In one column we give a common-place household and familiar termin the
other we render it into the true Bulwerian phraseology:
Does your mother know you are out? Is your maternal parents natural
solicitude allayed by the information, that you have for the present
vacated your domestic roof? You dont lodge here, Mr. Ferguson. You are
geographically and statistically misinformed; this is by no means the
accustomed place of your occupancy, Mr. Ferguson. See! there he goes
with his eye out. Behold! he proceeds totally deprived of one moiety of
his visual organs! Dont you wish you may get it? Pray confess, are you
not really particularly anxious to obtain the desired object? More
tother. Infinitely, peculiarly, and most intensely the entire extreme
and the absolute reverse. Quite different. Dissimilar as the far-
extended poles, or the deep-tinctured ebon skins of the dark denizens of
Sols sultry plains and the fair rivals of descending flakes of virgin
snow, melting with envy on the peerless breast of fair Circassias ten-
fold white-washed daughters. Over the left. Decidedly in the ascendant
of the sinister. From the nobleman who is selected to move the address
in the House of Lords, it would seem that the Whigs, tired of any
further experiments in turning their coats, are about to try what effect
they can produce with an old Spencer.
As the weather is to decide the question of the corn-laws, the rains
that have lately fallen may be called, with truth, the reins of
government.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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