Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, CompleteVarious
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
ANKLE-JACKS, A leg wearing an Ankle-Jack to indulge in the sporting
phraseology of the Racing Calendar, appear to be got by Highlows out of
Bluchers. They thrive chiefly in the neighbourhoods of Houndsditch,
Whitechapel, and Billingsgate. They attach themselves principally to
butchers boys, Israelitish disposers of vix and pinthils, and itinerant
misnomers of live fish. On their first introduction to their masters,
by prigging or purchase, they represent some of the glories of Day and
Martin; but, strange to say, though little skilled in the penmans art,
their various owners appear to be imbued with extraordinary veneration
for the wholesome advice contained in the round-text copy, wherein
youths are admonished to avoid useless repetition, hence that polish
is the Alpha and Omega of their shining days. Their term of servitude
varies from three to six weeks: during the first they are fastened to
the topmost of their ten holes; the next fortnight, owing to the
breaking of the lace, and its frequent knotting, they are shorn of half
their glories, and upon the total destruction of the thong (a thing
never replaced), it appears a matter of courtesy on their parts to
remain on at all. On some occasions various of their wearers have
transferred them as a legacy to very considerable mobs, without
particularly stating for which especial individual they were intended.
This kicking off their shoes because they wouldnt die in them, has
generally proved but a sorry method of lengthening existence.
HESSIANS, A leg modelling a Hessian boot are little more than ambitious
Wellingtons, curved at the topwrinkled at the bottom (showing symptoms
of superannuation even in their infancy), and betasselled in the front,
offering what a Wellington never dida weak point for an enemy to seize
and shake at his pleasure.
Theres no speculation in themthey are entirely superficial: like a
shallow fellow, you at once see through, and know all about them. There
is no mystery as to the height they reach, how far they are polished, or
the description of leg they cling round. Save Count DOraay, we never
saw a calf in a pair of themthat is, we never saw a leg with a calf.
Their general tenants are speculative Jew clothesmen who have bought
them vorth the monish (at tenth hand), seedy chamber counsel, or still
more seedy collectors of rents. They are fast falling into decay; like
dogs, they have had their Day (and Martins) Acts, but both are past.
But woh! ho!
TOPS! TOPS!! TOPS!!! A booted leg in a stirrup with spurs
Derby!Epsom!Ledger!Spring Summer, Autumn MeetingsMiles, Half-
milesT.Y.C.Hurdles, Heats, names, weights, colours of the
ridersjockies, jackets,Dead
Heatssweatsdistancestrainingsscalescaps, and allwhat would you be
without Top Boots? What! and echo answersnothing!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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