May smugglers _run_, and they ne'er make a seizure; May _they_--I'll curse them further at my leisure. But for our club, "Ay, there's the rub." "We mourn it dead in its father's halls:"[5]-- The sporting prints are cut down from the walls; No stuffing there, Not even in a chair; The spirits are all _ex_(or)_cised_, The coffee-cups capsized, The coffee _fine_-d, the snuff all taken, The mild Havannahs are by lights forsaken: The utter ruin of the club's achieven-- Our very chess-boards are ex-_chequered_ even. "Where is our club?" X--sighs,[6] and with a stare Like to another echo, answers "Where?" [1] "Ye jocal nine," a happy modification of "Ye vocal nine." The nine here so classically invocated are manifestly nine of the members of the late club, consisting of, 1. Mr. D--s J--d. 2. The subject of the engraving, treasurer and store-keeper. 3. Mr. G--e S--h, sub-ed. J---- B----. 4. Mr. B--d, Mem. Dram. Author's Society. 5. C--s S--y, ditto. 6. Mr. C--e. 7. Mr. C--s, T--s, late of the firm of T--s and P--t. 8. Mr. J--e A--n, Mem. Soc. British Artists. 9, and lastly, "though not least," the author of "You loved me not in happier days." [2] "He said."--Deeply imbued with the style of the most polished of the classics, our author will be found to exhibit in some passages an imitation of it which might be considered pedantic, for ourselves, we admire the severe style. The literal rendering of the '_dixit_' of the ancient epicists, strikes us as being eitremely forcible here.--PUNCH. [3] A play-bill reminiscence, viz. "The scenery by Messrs. Tomkins and Pitt."--THE AUTHORS OF "BUT, HOWEVER." [4] "Donnez-moi," &c.--The classics of all countries are aptly drawn upon by the universal erudition of our bard. A fine parody this upon the exclamation of Belmontel's starving author: "La Gloire--donnez-moi do pain!"--FENWICK DE PORQUET. [5] "They mourn it dead," &c.--A pretty, but perhaps too literal allusion to a popular song--J. RODWELL. [6] "X--sighs."--Who "X" may happen to be we have not the remotest idea. But who would not forgive a little mystification for so brilliant a pun?--THE GHOST OF PUNCH'S THEATRE. * * * * * MR. HUME. We are requested by Mr. Hume to state, that being relieved from his parliamentary duties, he intends opening a day-school in the neighbourhood of the House of Commons, for the instruction of members only, in the principles of the illustrious Cocker; and to remedy in some measure his own absence from the Finance Committees, he is now engaged in preparing a Parliamentary Ready-reckoner. We heartily wish him success. * * * * * "PRIVATE."