Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, July 24, 1841 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, July 24, 1841Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, July 24, 1841
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Nine o'clock._--Polling has commenced. Tom Daly, of Galway, the fighting
friend of Mr. Figsby, has just arrived, with three brace of duelling
pistols, and a carpet-bag full of powder and ball. This looks like
business. I have heard that six of Mr. Figsby's voters have been locked up
in a barn by Griggles' people. The poll is proceeding vigorously.
_Ten o'clock._--State of the poll to this time:--
Figsby 19
Griggles 22
The most barefaced bribery is being employed by Griggles. A lady, known to
be in his interest, was seen buying half-a-pound of tea, in the shop of Mr.
Fad, the grocer, for which she paid with a whole sovereign, _and took no
change_. _Two legs of mutton_ have also been sent up to Griggles' house, by
Reilly, the butcher. Heaven knows what will be the result. The voting is
become serious--four men with fractured skulls have, within these ten
minutes, been carried into the apothecary's over the way. A couple of
policemen have been thrown over the bridge; but we are in too great a state
of agitation to mind trifles.
_Half-past Twelve o'clock._--State of the poll to this time:--
Figsby 27
Griggles 36
You can have no idea of the frightful state of the town. The faction are
employing all sorts of bribery and intimidation. The wife of a liberal
greengrocer has just been seen with the Griggles ribbons in her cap. Five
pounds have been offered for a sucking-pig. Figsby must come in,
notwithstanding two cart-loads of the temperance voters are now riding up
to the poll, most of them being too drunk to walk. Three duels have been
this morning reported. Results not known. The coroner has been holding
inquests in the market-house all the morning.
_Three o'clock._--State of the poll to this time:--
Figsby 45
Griggles 39
The rascally corrupt assessor has decided that the temperance electors who
came up to vote for the Liberal candidate, being too drunk to speak, were
disentitled to vote. Some dead men had been polled by Griggles.
The verdict of the coroner's inquest on those who unfortunately lost their
lives this morning, has been, "Found dead." Everybody admires the sagacious
conclusion at which the jury have arrived. It is reported that Figsby has
resigned! I am able to contradict the gross falsehood. Mr. F. is now
addressing the electors from his committee-room window, and has this
instant received a plumper--in the eye--in the shape of a rotten potato. I
have ascertained that the casualties amount to no more than six men, two
pigs, and two policemen, killed; thirteen men, women, and children,
wounded.
_Four o'clock_--State of the poll up to this time:--
Figsby 29
Griggles 41
The poll-clerks on both sides are drunk, the assessor has closed the
booths, and I am grieved to inform you that Griggles has just been duly
elected.
_Half past Four o'clock._--Figsby has given Grigglcs the lie on the open
hustings. Will Griggles fight?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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