The butchers are reduced to their last _stake_. The weavers say their lives hang by a single _thread_. The booksellers protest we must _turn over a new leaf_. The ironmongers declare that the times are very _hard_ indeed. The cabmen say business is completely at a _stand_. The watermen are all _aground_. The tailors object to the government _measures_;--and the undertakers think that affairs are assuming a _grave_ aspect. Public credit, too, is tottering;--nobody will take doctors' _draughts_, and it is difficult to obtain cash for the best bills (of the play). An extensive brandy-ball merchant in the neighbourhood of Oxford-street has called a meeting of his creditors; and serious apprehensions are entertained that a large manufacturer of lollypops in the Haymarket will be unable to meet his heavy liabilities. Two watchmakers in the city have stopped this morning, and what is more extraordinary, their watches have "_stopped_" too. * * * * * THE NORMANDIE "NO GO." The figure, stuffed with shavings, of a French grenadier, constructed by the Duke of Normandie, and exhibited by him recently at Woolwich, which he stated would explode if fired at by bullets of his own construction, possitively objected to being blown up in such a ridiculous manner; and though several balls were discharged at the man of shavings, he showed no disposition to move. The Duke waxed exceedingly wroth at the coolness of his soldier, and swore, if he had been a true Frenchman, he would have _gone off_ at the first fire. * * * * * A CONUNDRUM BY COL. SIBTHORP. "What's the difference between the top of a mountain and a person afflicted with any disorder?"--"One's a _summit of a hill_, and the other's _ill of a summut_." * * * * * A CLASSICAL INSCRIPTION FOR A CIGAR CASE. [Greek: To bakchikhon doraema labe, se gar philo.].--EURIPIDES. FREE TRANSLATION. "Accept this gift of To-_Baccha_--cigar fellow." * * * * * FASHIONS FOR THE PRESENT WEEK. Though the dog-days have not yet commenced, _muzzlin_ is very general, and a new sort of _shally_, called _shilly-shally_, is getting remarkably prevalent. _Shots_ are still considered the greatest hits, for those who are anxious to make a good impression; flounces are _out_ in the morning, and _tucks in_ at dinner-parties, the latter being excessively full, and much sought after. At _conversaziones_, puffs are very usual, and sleeves are not so tight as before, to allow of their being laughed in; jewels are not now to be met with in the head, which is left _au naturel_--that is to say, as vacant as possible. * * * * * "Why is the _Gazette_ like a Frenchman's letter?"--"Because it is full of _broken English_." * * * * * BREACH OF PRIVILEGE.