PUNCH.--Nothing could be better. Wharncliffe in Ireland! You might as well appoint a red-hot poker to guard a powder magazine. Go on. PEEL.--"Secretary for Home Department--Goulburn." PUNCH.--A most domestic gentleman; will take care of home, I am sure. Go on. PEEL.--"Lord Chancellor--Sir William Follett." PUNCH.--A capital appointment: Sir William loves the law as a spider loves his spinning; and for the same reason Chancery cobwebs will be at a premium. PEEL.--"Secretary for the Colonies--Lord Stanley." PUNCH.--Would make a better Governor of Macquarrie Harbour; but go on. PEEL.--"President of the Council--Duke of Wellington." PUNCH.--Think twice there.--The Duke will be a great check upon you. The Duke is now a little too old a mouser to enjoy Tory tricks. He has unfortunately a large amount of common sense; and how fatal must that quality be to the genius of the Wharncliffes, the Goulburns, and the Stanleys! Besides, the Duke has another grievous weakness--he won't lie. PEEL.--"Secretary for Ireland--Sir H. Hardinge." PUNCH.--Come, that will do. Wharncliffe, the flaming torch of Toryism, and Hardinge the small lucifer. How Ireland will be enlightened, and how oranges will go up! PEEL.--"Lord Chamberlain--Duke of Beaufort." PUNCH.--Capital! The very politician for a Court carpet. Besides, he knows the etiquette of every green-room from the Pavilion to the Haymarket. He is, moreover, a member of the Garrick Club; and what, if possible, speaks more for his State abilities--he used to drive the Brighton coach! PEEL.--"Ambassador at Paris--Lord Lyndhurst." PUNCH.--That's something like. How the graces of the Palais Royal will rejoice! There is a peculiar fitness in this appointment; for is not his Lordship son-in-law to old Goldsmid, whilom editor of the _Anti-Galliean_, and for many years an honoured and withal notorious resident of Paris! Of course BEN D'ISRAELI, his Lordship's friend, will get a slice of secretaryship--may be allowed to nib a state quill, if he must not use one. Well, go on. PEEL.--That's all at present. How d'ye think they read? PUNCH.--Very glibly--like the summary of a Newgate Calendar. But the truth is, I think we want a little new blood in the next Cabinet. PEEL.--New blood! Explain, dear Punch. PUNCH.--Why, most of your people are, unfortunately, tried men. Hence, the people, knowing them as well as they know the contents of their own breeches' pockets, may not be gulled so long as if governed by those whose tricks--I mean, whose capabilities--have not been so strongly marked. With new men we have always the benefit of hope; and with hope much swindling may be perpetrated. PEEL.--But my Cabinet contains known men. PUNCH.--That's it; knowing _them_, hope is out of the question. Now, with Ministers less notorious, the Cabinet farce might last a little longer. I have put down a few names; here they are on a blank leaf of _Jack Sheppard_. PEEL.--A presentation copy, I perceive.