Every fiend that humanity shrinks from was there-- Hepatitis, Lumbago, with hollow-eyed Care, Hypochondria, and Gout grinning ghastly with pain, And of Incubi phantoms a horrible train. And onwards they gallop'd in brotherly pairs; Their pennons pale yellow, their steeds were night mares; And their leader's grim visage a darksome smile wore As he gave the word "Halt" at the Mansion-house door. The vision dismounted, and peering within, 'Midst a rattle of glasses and knife and fork din, His victims beheld, tucking in calipash, While they hob-nobb'd and toasted in Burgundy wash. Then he straightway amongst them his grisly form cast, And breathed on each puffing red face as he pass'd; And the eyes of the feasters wax'd deadly and chill, And their stomachs once heaved, and for ever grew still! And the turtle devourers were stretched on the floor-- Each cheek changed to purple--so crimson before! Their dewlaps all dabbled with red wine and ale, And extremities cold as a live fish's tail! And there lay the Liv'ryman, breathless and lorn, With waistcoat and new inexpressibles torn; And the Hall was all silent, the band having flown, And the waiters stared wildly on, sweating and blown! And Cripplegate widows are loud in their wail! And Mary-Axe orphans all trembling and pale! For the Alderman glory has melted away, As mists are dispersed by the glad dawn of day. * * * * * _HARMER VIRUMQUE CANO._ In the list of guests at the Lord Mayor's dinner we did not perceive the name of "Harmer" among those who met to "despatch" the viands. On inquiry we learn that since the fire at the Tower he has secluded himself in his own _Harmer-y_, and has not egressed from "Ingress Abbey," for fear of incendiaries. The ex-alderman having however always shown a decided predilection for Gravesend, it is not wonderful that during the wet season he should be [Illustration: STOPPING AT A WATERING-PLACE.] * * * * * A CHAPTER ON POLITICS. WHEREIN "PUNCH" HINTETH AT A STARTLING CHANGE IN THE MODUS OPERANDI OF LEGISLATION.--HE ALSO EXHIBITETH A PROFOUND KNOWLEDGE OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS; AND SHOWETH HOW AT HOME WE ARE ALL ABROAD. At a period when every Englishman, from the Minister to the Quack Doctor (and extremes very often meet), is laying down his pseudo-political principles, PUNCH desires to expound his practical and scientific plan for increasing prosperity and preserving peace. Yes, at a moment like this, when the party difference "'twixt Tweedledum and Tweedledee" has produced a total stand-still; when Whigs cannot move, and when Tories will not,--PUNCH steps forward to prescribe (without a fee) for the sinking Constitution.