Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, November 20, 1841 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, November 20, 1841Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, November 20, 1841
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Nothing convinces me more of my treacherous memory than my not
recollecting you at the memorable "New-boot Supper;" for I certainly must
have been as long in that society as yourself. Be that as it may, you have
induced me to scrape together a few reminiscences in an imperfect way,
leaving to you, from your better recollection, to correct and flavour the
specimen to the palate of your readers, who have, most deservedly, every
reliance upon your good taste and moral tendency. I have in vain tried to
meet with the music of "the good old days of Adam and Eve," consequently
have lost the enjoyment of the chorus--"Sing hey, sing ho!" It would be
too much to ask you to sing it, but perhaps you may too-te-too it in your
next. May your good intentions to the would-be AEsculapius be attended with
success.--I remain, dear Punch, your old friend,
TOBY.
ASCITES.
Abdomen swell'd, which fluctuates when struck upon the side, sirs;
Face pale and puff'd, and worse than that, with thirst and cough
beside, sirs;
Skin dry, and breathing difficult, and pains in epigastrium,
And watchfulness or partial sleep, with dreams would strike the
bravest dumb.
To cure--restore the balance of exhalants and absorbents,
With squill, blue-pill, and other means to soothe the patient's
torments.
GRINDER.
Sure this is not your climax, sir, to save from Davy's locker!
STUDENT.
Way, no,--I'd then with caution tap--when first I'd tied the knocker.
Sing hey! sing ho! if you cannot find a new plan,
In Puseyistic days like these, you'd better try a New-man.
TYMPANITIS.
The swelling here is different--sonorous, tense, elastic;
On it you might a tattoo beat, with fingers or with a stick.
There's costiveness and atrophy, with features Hippocratic;
When these appear, there's much to fear, all safety is erratic.
Although a cordial laxative, mix'd up with some carminative,
Might be prescribed, with morphia, or hops, to keep the man alive;
Take care his diet's nutritive, avoiding food that's flatulent,
And each week let him have a dose of Punch from Mr. Bryant sent.
Sing hey! sing ho! &c.
* * * * *
ALARMING PROSPECTS FOR THE COUNTRY.
It appears that no less than _one hundred and sixty-four_ Attorneys have
given notice of their intention to practise in the Court of Queen's Bench;
and _eleven_ of the fraternity have applied to be re-admitted Attorneys of
the Court. We had no idea that such an alarming extension was about taking
place in
[Illustration: THE RIFLE CORPS.]
* * * * *
"ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER."
A poor man went to hang himself,
But treasure chanced to find;
He pocketed the miser's pelf
And left the rope behind.
His money gone, the miser hung
Himself in sheer despair:
Thus each the other's wants supplied,
And that was surely fair.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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