It has been rumoured that Mr. Bernal, the new member, has been for some weeks past suffering from a severe attack of scarlet fever, caused by his late unparliamentary conduct in addressing the assembled legislators as--gentlemen. We are credibly informed that this unprecedented piece of ignorance has had the effect, as Shakspere says, of [Illustration: "MAKING THE GREEN ONE RED."--_Macbeth_.] * * * * * MAKING A COMPOSITION WITH ONE'S ANCESTORS. Roebuck, the ex-attorney, and member for Bath, who has evinced a most commendable love of his parents, from his great-grandfather upwards, seeing the utter impossibility of carrying through the "whole hog" conviction of their respectability, and finding himself in rather an awkward "fix," on the present occasion begs to inform the editor of the _Times_, that he will be most happy to accept a compromise, on their literary and scientific attainments, at the very reasonable rate of [Illustration: SIX-AND-EIGHTPENCE IN THE POUND.] * * * * * PUNCH'S HISTRIONIC READINGS IN HISTORY. NO. 1.--ENGLAND. Of the early history of England nothing is known. It was, however, invaded by the _Normans_; but whether they were any relations of the once celebrated _Norman_ the pantaloon, we have no authentic record. The kingdom had at one time seven kings--two of whom were probably the two well-known kings of Brentford. Perhaps, also, the king of Little Britain made a third; while old king Cole may have constituted a fourth; thus leaving only a trifling balance of three to be accounted for. Alfred the Great is supposed to have been originally a baker, from his having undertaken the task of watching the cakes in the neat-herd's oven; and Edward the Black Prince was probably a West Indian, who found his way to our hospitable shores at an early period. We now come to King John, who ascended the throne after putting out his nephew's eyes with a pair of curling-irons, and who is the first English Sovereign who attempted to write his own name; for the scrawl is evidently something more than his mark, which is attached to Magna Charta. We need say nothing of Richard the Third, with whom all our play-going friends are familiar, and who made the disgraceful offer, if Shakspeare is to be believed, of parting with the whole kingdom for a horse, though it does not appear that the disreputable bargain was ever completed. The wars of York and Lancaster, which, though not exactly _couleur de rose_, were on the subject of white and red roses (that is to say, China and cabbage), united the crown in the person of Henry the Seventh, known to the play-going public as the Duke of Richmond, and remarkable for having entered the country by the Lincolnshire fens; for he talks of having got into "the bowels of the land" immediately on his arrival.