Luck, whether good or evil, begat Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk an introduction to some other talented young gentlemen, who had so far progressed in histrionic acquirements, that from spouting themselves, they had taken to spouting their watches, and other stray articles of small value, to enable them to pay the charges of a private theatre, where, as often as they could raise the needful, they astonished and delighted their wondering friends. Among this worshipful society was Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk adopted and enrolled as a trusty and well-beloved member; and in the above-named private theatre, in suit of solemn black, slightly relieved by an enormous white handkerchief, and a well-chalked countenance, did Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk, at or about the hour of half past eight--being precisely sixty minutes behind the period announced, in consequence of the non-arrival of the one fiddle and ditto flute comprising, or rather that ought to have comprised, the orchestra--made his debut, and a particularly nervous bow to the good folks there assembled, "as and for" the character "of Hamlet, the Danish Prince." To describe the "exclamations of delight," the "tornadoes of applause," the earthquakes of rapture, or the "breathless breathing" of the entranced audience, would beat Mr. Bunn into fits, and the German company into fiddle-cases; so, like a newspaper legacy, which is the only one that never pays duty, we "_leave_ it to our reader's imagination." The die was cast. Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk's former avocations became intensely irksome--if he served a writ it was no longer a "writ of right." Copies for "Jenkins" were consigned to "Tompkins;" "Brown" declined pleading to "Smith" and Smith declared off Brown's declaration. In inquiries after "solvent acceptors," Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk was still more abroad. In the mystification of his brains, all answers seemed to be delivered "per contra." Forlorn hopes on three-and sixpenny stamps were converted into the circulating medium; "good actors" were considered "good men" in the very reverse of Shylock's acceptation of the term; and astonished indorsers succeeded in "raising the wind" upon "kites" they would have bet any odds no "wind in the world could induce to fly." Everything in this world must come to an end--bills generally do in three months: so did these, and so did Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk's responsible and peripatetic avocations in the highly respectable firm of Messrs. Tims and Swindle, attorneys, and to their cost, through the agency of Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk, bill-discounters, of Thavies' Inn, Holborn; they, the said highly respectable firm of Tims and Swindle, handing over to Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk the sum of four and tenpence, being the balance of his quarter's salary, which, so great was Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk's opinion of the solvency of the said