Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, September 12, 1841Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, September 12, 1841
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
It is rumoured that Macready is desirous of disposing of his "manners"
previous to becoming manager, when he will have no further occasion for
them. They are in excellent condition, having been very little used, and
would be a desirable purchase for any one expecting to move within the
sphere of his management.
* * * * *
REASON'S NE PLUS ULTRA.
A point impossible for mind to reach--
To find _the meaning_ of a royal speech.
* * * * *
AN APPROPRIATE NAME.
The late Queen of the Sandwich Islands, and the first convert to
Christianity in that country, was called _Keopalani_, which means--"_the
dropping of the clouds from Heaven_."
EPIGRAM ON THE ABOVE.
This name's the best that could be given,
As will by proof be quickly seen;
For, "dropping from the clouds of Heaven,"
She was, of course, the _raining_ Queen.
* * * * *
CAUTION TO SPORTSMEN.
Our gallant friend Sibthorp backed himself on the 1st of September to bag
a hundred leverets in the course of the day. He lost, of course; and upon
being questioned as to his reason for making so preposterous a bet, he
confessed that he had been induced to do so by the specious promise of an
advertisement, in which somebody professed to have discovered "_a powder
for the removal of superfluous hairs_."
* * * * *
OUT OF SEASON.
A LYRIC, BY THE LAST MAN--IN TOWN.
Chaos returns! no soul's in town!
And darkness reigns where lamps once brightened;
Shutters are closed, and blinds drawn down--
Untrodden door-steps go unwhitened!
The echoes of some straggler's boots
Alone are on the pavement ringing
While 'prentice boys, who smoke cheroots,
Stand critics to some broom-girl's singing.
I went to call on Madame Sims,
In a dark street, not far from Drury;
An Irish crone half-oped the door.
Whose head might represent a fury.
"At home, sir?" "No! (_whisper_)--but I'll presume
To tell the truth, or know the _raison_.
She dines--tays--lives--in the back room,
Bekase 'tis not the London _saison_."
From thence I went to Lady Bloom's,
Where, after sundry rings and knocking,
A yawning, liveried lad appear'd,
His squalid face his gay clothes mocking
I asked him, in a faltering tone--
The house was closed--I guess'd the reason--
"Is Lady B.'s grand-aunt, then, gone?"--
"To Ramsgate, sir!--until next season!"
I sauntered on to Harry Gray's,
The _ennui_ of my heart to lighten;
His landlady, with, smirk and smile,
Said, "he had just run down to Brighton."
When home I turned my steps, at last,
A tailor--whom to kick were treason--
Pressed for his bill;--I hurried past,
Politely saying--CALL NEXT SEASON!
* * * * *
THE GENTLEMAN'S OWN BOOK.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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