STATUE.--Bah! no nonsense, Bob, with me! Put on your hat, and come over here, close to the railings, while I have a little private confab with you. So, you have been called in at last? PEEL.--Yes. Her Majesty has done me the honour to command my services; and actuated by a sincere love of my country, I obeyed the wishes of my Royal Mistress, and accepted office; though, if I had consulted my own inclinations, I should have preferred the quiet path of private-- STATUE.--Humbug! You forget yourself, Bob; you are not now at Tamworth, or in the house, but talking to an old hand that knows every move on the political board,--you need have no disguise with me. Come, be candid for once, and tell me, what are your intentions? PEEL.--Why, then, candidly, to keep my place as long as I can-- STATUE.--Undoubtedly; that is the first duty of every patriotic minister! But the means, Bob? PEEL--Oh! Cant--cant--nothing but cant! I shall talk of my feeling for the wants of the people, while I pick their pockets; bestow my pity upon the manufacturers, while I tax the bread that feeds their starving families; and proclaim my sympathy with the farmers, while I help the arrogant landlords to grind them into the dust. STATUE.--Ah! I perceive yon understand the true principles of legislation. Now, _I_ once really felt what you only feign. In my time, I attempted to carry out my ideas of amelioration, and wanted to improve the moral and physical condition of the people, but-- PEEL.--You failed. Few gave you credit for purely patriotic motives--and still fewer believed you to be sincere in your professions. Now, _my_ plan is much easier, and safer. Give the people fair promises--they don't cost much--but nothing besides promises; the moment you attempt to realise the hopes you have raised, that moment you raise a host of enemies against yourself. STATUE.--But if you make promises, the nation will demand a fulfilment of them. PEEL.--I have an answer ready for all comers--"Wait awhile!" 'Tis a famous soother for all impatient grumblers. It kept the Whigs in office for ten years, and I see no reason why it should not serve our turn as long. Depend upon it, "Wait awhile" is the great secret of Government. STATUE.--Ah! I believe you are right. I now see that I was only a novice in the trade of politics. By the bye, Bob, I don't at all like my situation here; 'tis really very uncomfortable to be exposed to all weathers--scorched in summer, and frost-nipped in winter. Though I am only a statue, I feel that I ought to be protected. PEEL.--Undoubtedly, my dear sir. What can I do for you? STATUE.--Why, I want to get into the Abbey, St. Paul's, or Drury Lane. Anywhere out of the open air. PEEL.--Say no more--it shall be done. I am only too happy to have it in my power to serve the statue of a man to whom his country is so deeply indebted. STATUE.--But _when_ shall it be done, Bob? To-morrow? PEEL.--Not precisely to-morrow; but-- STATUE.--Next week, then?