It is to be hoped that the advertiser will not get an animal that (to quote from _Hamlet_) "may smile and smile and be a villain!" * * * * * IGNOTUS. Prate not about Fame! I've addressed half the world, In Court and in cottage, in Castle and slum! I've been warbled, and chorussed, and tootled, and skirled, Yet, for _kudos_, I might just as well have been dumb. Though familiar to all men, I'm wholly unknown; You're inclined to pooh-pooh, and to say I am wrong? Nay, listen, and you my correctness will own: 'Tis I wrote the _words_ of a Popular Song! * * * * * NEW AND INTERESTING WORK.--As a companion to Dr. WRIGHT's _The Ice Ages in North America and its bearing upon the Antiquity of Man_, will shortly appear _The Penny-Ice Age in London and its bearing on the Youth of the Metropolis_. * * * * * A BRUMMAGEM BOLUS. (_BY AN ELATE LIBERAL-UNIONIST._) An "ill-starred abortion" WEG christened our party; At present, as JOE hints, that sounds quite ironic. True, lately our health did appear far from hearty, But Aston has acted As-tonic! * * * * * NOTE FOR CRITICS.--How can any of us expect the truth from a historian who himself tells us that he merely "_transcribes from MSS. lying before him!_" * * * * * WHAT THE ITALIANS SEEM TO WANT IN LOUISIANA.--An _un_fair field, or no FAVA! * * * * * [Illustration: PICTURE SUNDAY. (_What Our Artist has to put up with._) _Fair Damsel_ (_to Our Artist, who is explaining the beauties of his Picture_). "CHARMING! CHARMING! BUT, OH, MR. FITZMADDER, WHAT A _DELIGHTFUL_ ROOM THIS WOULD BE FOR A DANCE,--WITH THE MUSICIANS IN THE GALLERY, AND ALL THE EASELS AND PICTURES AND THINGS CLEARED AWAY!"] * * * * * A FAIR EXCHANGE. HOSEA BIGLOW _speaks up on the situation_:-- Here we stan' on the Constitution, by thunder! State rights won't be hurried by any one's hoofs; UMBERTO, old hoss, would _you_ like, I wonder, To 'pologise first, and then bring up yer proofs? Uncle SAM is free, and he sez, sez he:-- "The _Mafia's_ no more Right to come to this shore, No more'n the Molly Maguires," sez he. Uncle SAM ain't no kind o' bisness with nothin' Like stabs in the back,--that may do for slaves. We ain't none riled by their frettin' an' frothin' Who shriek, in Hitalian, across the waves. Uncle SAM is free, but he sez, sez he:-- "He will put down his foot On the right to shoot As claimed by the _Mafia_ gang!" sez he.