_Eminent Writer to Editor_.--Happy to oblige. Got old article handy advocating cession of Canada and India to the French. Never wrote anything more ripping. Pitches into everybody. Touching it up, and will let you have it in two days. By the bye, telegraph people put a K to my Christian name. Tell them not to do it again. _Editor to Eminent Writer_ (_a week later_).--Sorry about the K. Got your article. Not quite what I wanted. Style all right, but arguments idiotic. Can't you take the other side? Much more popular. _Eminent Writer to Editor_.--Idea insulting. Any more telegrams of that sort, and I contribute in future to the _Shortsprightly Review_, not yours! _Editor to Eminent Writer_.--No offence meant. _Is_ there any other Review besides mine? Never heard of the one you mentioned. _Eminent Writer to Editor_ (_a month later_).--I say, what's this? Virulent personal attack on me in your Review, signed with your name! Pretends my article on giving up Canada, &c., was all a joke! Am I the sort of man who would joke about anything? Reply at once, with apology, or I skin you alive in next Number of _Shortsprightly_. _Editor to Eminent Writer_.--Sorry you're offended. I thought my Article rather a moderate one. Quite true that I talk about falsehood, hypocrites, effrontery, demagogues, Pharisees, and so on; but expressions to be taken in strictly Pickwickian sense, and of course not intended for _you_. _Eminent Writer to Editor_.--Explanation unsatisfactory. You first insert contribution, and then slate it. Do you call yourself an Editor? _Editor to Eminent Writer_.--Rather think I _do_ call myself Editor. Couldn't insert that humbug about India and Canada without reply. By the bye, have forgotten if you spell Christian name with or without K? Important. Wire back. _Eminent Writer to Editor_.--Yah! Look out for next _Shortsprightly_, that's all! Article entitled, "Editorial Horseplay." It'll give you fits, or my name isn't--FREDERIC, without the K. * * * * * ANOTHER'S! (_A ONCE REJECTED ADDRESS._) Yes! Thou must be another's. Oh, Such anguish stands alone! I'd always fancied thou wert so Peculiarly mine own; No welcome doubt my soul can free; A convict may not choose-- Yet, since another's thou must be, Most kindly tell me _whose_? Is it the Lord of Shilling Thrills Who penned _The Black that Mails_-- That martial man who from the hills Excogitates his tales? Is it ubiquitous A. LANG? Nay, shrink not but explain To which of all the writing gang Dost properly pertain? Perchance to some provincial churl, Who blushes quite unseen? Perchance to some ambitious Earl Or Stockbroker, I ween? Such things have frequently occurred, And gems like thee have crowned The titular and moneyed herd, And made them nigh renowned.