Everyone thought it would be Monday. Brer RABBIT in his place to-day, but his men absent. OLD MORALITY, with positively a halo of innocency round his head, suddenly appeared at table; read out the list of Commissioners. Brer RABBIT's hand forced; must needs forthwith ask leave to move the Adjournment. "Got your forty men?" asked the SPEAKER. "Not quite," said Brer RABBIT, apologetically. Only twenty-nine; so Brer RABBIT bowled out, and opportunity lost. "Dear me!" said OLD MORALITY; "how very unfortunate. Now if I'd only waited till Monday, House would have been quite full; Brer RABBIT would have got his forty men twice over; we should have had an embarrassing Debate, and lost several hours of the sitting. As things have turned out, we can now go straight on with business." _Business done_.--In Committee on Irish Land Bill. * * * * * THE RETURN OF THE WANDERER.--JOHNNIE has come marching home. JOHN LAWRENCE TOOLE, of the wide world generally, of London peculiarly, and of King William Street particularly, has returned. Divine WILLIAMS, always on the spot for any remarkable event, foresaw the happy day when, in _Henry the Eighth_, Act v., So. 3, he wrote, "The great TOOLE come!" May we venture to surmise that it will not be long ere we see the announcement of our favourite comedian's appearance in an entirely new and original farce entitled _Ici on Parle Français_? * * * * * WHAT'S IN A NAME? (_From a Correspondent_).--Sir, I send you a cutting from a communication of J. MORTIMER GRANVILLE's, to _The Lancet_, No. 3,527, p. 798. Which when found make a note of:--"_Instead of thallin I use a Periodohydromethyloxychinolin, because that is better borne, and seems to be more effective than the Tetrahydroparaquinasol_." These two words would be a good penn'orth in a telegram. Yours, EPIGRAMMATIST. * * * * * PREMIÈRE AND DERNIÈRE, OR SHORTEST RUN ON RECORD. _Dramatic Author_ (_to very friendly critic_). Seen my new piece? eh? _Première_ last night. _Very friendly Critic_. Dear me! "One night only!" Hope they've got something ready for this evening. [_Exit, chuckling._ * * * * * NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception. End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 100, April 18, 1891, by Various