Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 21, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 21, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
In battle's wild commotion,
With proud and hostile SM-TH,
O'er Land or Tithe, our hearts were blithe,
Till P-RN-LL sapped our pith.
But "Mr. Fox's" lethal darts
Make "Union" all my eye;
Our ranks they thin (whilst our enemies grin),
As right and left they fly.
Though we cling to the Jaunting Car,
We were better out of it, by far;
Not the G.O.M.'s art
Can those Jarvies part
Who fight for the Jaunting Car.
I rather like this Car, Sir,
With GL-DST-NE by my side;
But row galore is an awful bore.
When two would-be whips collide.
With J-ST-N seated forninst us,
To victory we _might_ haste,
But with squabbling bhoys, and a deuce of a noise,
_Our_ efforts are cut to waste.
Though we're perched on the Jaunting Car,
Our purpose these madmen mar,
Whilst W-LL-M and I,
With a tear and a sigh,
Hold on to the Jaunting Car.
* * * * *
PAR ABOUT PICTURES.--Messrs. J. and W. VOKINS, Great Portland Street,
have an interesting loan collection of some of the Old Giants of the
English Water-colour School on view. There may be found TURNER, DE
WINT, WILLIAM HUNT, HOLLAND, COPLEY FIELDING, STANFIELD, MULREADY,
J.D. HARDING, besides many others. How good are the Old Giants, and
their works are as bright and fresh as the day they were painted.
Their reputations have not faded, neither have their pictures, and
moreover, they are not likely to. And so say all of us! And so says,
Yours paragonically, OLD PAR.
* * * * *
THE HUNDRED-AND-TEN-TONNER!
What is it, that, with labour skilled,
Though taking full three years to build,
The place of better weapons filled?
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!
What was it, though, that had to stoop,
When fired, to putting on a hoop,
Spite this, yet found its muzzle "droop"?
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!
And what, that matters made more hot,
Such curious ammunition got,
It cost £400 a shot?
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!
Yet, much to the tax-payer's bliss,
What, firing such a sum as this.
At eighteen hundred yards would miss?
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!
What is it, spite the First Lord's grace,
That guns of better make and case
At half the cost could well replace?
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!
So, what no more upon the deep
Should JOHN BULL floating useless keep,
But quickly from his Navy sweep?
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!
* * * * *
PROPOSED TUNNEL BETWEEN ENGLAND AND IRELAND.--An Irishman observed
this would bridge over a lot of difficulties; he begged pardon, he
meant it would Leth-bridge them over.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE RIVAL "JARVIES."
J. M-RL-Y. "DRIVE ON, McCARTHY!--IT'S _YOUR_ JOB!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: HUNTING SKETCH.
THE LOST SHOE, OR LATE FOR THE MEAT.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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