When the explosion narrated in the last chapter took place, the Philosopher had been looking out of the window. The shock had hurled him with the speed of a pirate 'bus through the air. Soon he became a speck. Shortly afterwards he reached a point in his flight situated exactly 40,000 miles over a London publisher's office. There was a short contest. Centrifugal and centripetal fought for the mastery, and the latter was victorious. The publisher was at home. The novel was accepted, and the Philosopher started to rejoin his comrades lost in the boundless tracts of space. CHAPTER IV. "My faith," said Lord JOHN, "I am getting tired of this. Shall we never reach the Sun?" "Courage, my friend," was the well-known reply of the brave little Doctor. "We deviated from our course one hair's-breadth on the twelfth day. This is the fortieth day, and by the formula for the precession of the equinoxes, squared by the parallelogram of an ellipsoidal bath-bun fresh from the glass cylinder of a refreshment bar, we find that we are now travelling in a perpetual circle at a distance of one billion marine gasmeters from the Sun. I have now accounted for the milk in the cocoa-nut." "But not," said the Philosopher, as he popped up through a concealed trap-door, "for the hair outside. That remains for another volume." With that, he rang a gong. The iceberg splintered into a thousand pieces. The voyagers were each hurled violently down into their respective countries, where a savage public was waiting to devour them. * * * * * TOLSTOI ON TOBACCO. [Count TOLSTOI has been declaiming against Tobacco in _The Contemporary Review_, and this in no way exaggerates his views.] TOLSTOI fuming, in a pet, Raves against the cigarette; Says it's bad at any time, Leads to every kind of crime; And the man who smokes, quoth he, Is as wicked as can be. TOLSTOI knew a man who said He cut off a woman's head; But, when half the deed was done. Lo, the murderer's courage gone! And he finished, 'tis no joke, Only by the aid of smoke. TOLSTOI asks us, when do boys First essay Nicotian joys? And he answers, quite aghast, When their innocence is past. Gamblers smoke, and then again Smoking pleases the insane. TOLSTOI, when he writes this stuff, Swears he's serious enough; Lately Marriage earned his sneers; At Tobacco now he jeers; Proving that, without the weed, Some folks may be mad indeed. * * * * * [Illustration: THE SERENADE; OR, OVER THE GARDEN WALL. (_Latest Transatlantic Version._)] "Replying to Sir JOHN MACDONALD's manifesto, Mr. MERCIER said it was ridiculous to say that reciprocity was veiled treason, and meant annexation to the United States."--_Times' Montreal Correspondent_. _Uncle Sam (twangling his patent Reciprocity Banjo) sings_:--