LITHONODENDRIKON, used for gentlemen's coats, will not only keep out rain and wind, but thunder and lightning. * * * * * LITHONODENDRIKON never breaks or bends, but only bursts. * * * * * LITHONODENDRIKON.--A "PURCHASER" writes--"I sat down in a pair of your trousers, but could never get up again." * * * * * LITHONODENDRIKON.--Another "CUSTOMER" says--"The dress-coat you supplied me with fitted me well. I could not take it off without having recourse to a sledge-hammer." * * * * * UPPER HOUSE COAL COMPANY supply the cheapest and worst in the market. * * * * * UPPER HOUSE COAL COMPANY, hand-picked by the Duke himself, on whose property the mines are situated. * * * * * UPPER HOUSE COAL COMPANY, carefully selected, screened and delivered (in the dark), anywhere within a ten-mile radius of Charing Cross at 9s. 6_d_, a ton, for cash on delivery. * * * * * UPPER HOUSE COAL COMPANY supply a wonderful article at the price. Throws down a heavy brown ash. No flame, no heat. Frequently explodes, scattering the contents of the grate over the largest room. * * * * * UPPER HOUSE COAL COMPANY beg to refer intending purchasers to the accompanying testimonial: "Gentlemen,--Do what I will, I cannot get your coals to light. Put on in sufficient quantity they will extinguish any fire. I have worn out three drawing-room pokers in my endeavours to stir them into a flame, but all to no purpose. Steeped in petroleum, they might possibly ignite in a double-draught furnace, though I fancy they would put it out. They are as you advertise them, a 'show coal for summer use.' Don't send me any more." * * * * * CHARLIE AND SARAH. DEAR MR. PUNCH,--Why should ARISTOTLE be the only author whose works get discovered? I found the following story, written on papyrus, and enclosed in a copper cylinder, in my back garden, and I am positive that it is not ARISTOTLE. Can it possibly have been written by that amiable and instructive authoress whose stories for children have recently been reprinted? Yours, &c., HENRY ST. OTLE. CHARLIE was a very obedient little boy, and his sister SARAH was a good, patient little girl. One beautiful summer's day they went to stay for a week with their Uncle WILLIAM, a man of very high principles, who was not quite used to the proper method with children. On the evening of their arrival, as they were seated in front of the fire, CHARLIE lifted up his bright, obedient, beautiful face, and said, thoughtfully: "Pray, Uncle WILLIAM, cannot we have one of those instructive and amusing conversations such as children love, about refraction, and relativity, and initial velocity, and Mesopotamia generally?"