Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 7, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 7, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_House of Commons, Monday, Jan. 26._--PLUNKET undoubtedly the most
successful Commissioner of Works of recent times. A little coolness
sprung up between him and CAVENDISH BENTINCK about those staircases
in Westminster Hall. But _chacun a son_ idea of a staircase. PLUNKET
quite as likely to be right as C.B. Always doing something to improve
arrangements of House. Does it quietly, too; Members know nothing
about it till they come down and find new Smoking-room, fresh
arrangements of lights, new rooms for Ministers, and occasionally a
priceless old table adorning Tea-room. Various accounts of its origin.
Some say Magna Charta signed on it. Others fixing earlier date and
attracted by the initials "W.R." clearly carved on left leg, affirm
that it is the very table on which WILLIAM REX took his five o'clock
tea after Battle of Hastings.
[Illustration: "Dear me!"]
Latest surprise prepared by First Commissioner is illumination of
entrance to House from Lobby, cunningly effected by electric lights
set within recesses of arch. SCHNAD-HORST, revisiting House after
long interval, astonished at this. "Making things very comfortable in
anticipation of our coming in," he says, smiling sweetly.
Later came upon NICHOLAS WOODS; found him standing in attitude of
patient and intelligent expectation. "What are you waiting there for?"
I asked. "Why don't you come in and hear SWINBURNE make one or two
speeches on Tithes Bill?"
"Well--er--fact is," said NICHOLAS, steadfastly keeping his eyes
on archway, "WILFRID LAWSON told me that if I was here about eleven
o'clock I would see PLUNKET and the ATTORNEY-GENERAL come out under
the archway dancing a _pas de deux_. Couldn't make out when I arrived
what the illumination was for; asked LAWSON. 'Oh' says he, 'it's the
First Commissioner's reminiscence of one of the alcoves at Vauxhall
Gardens.' Then he told me about PLUNKET and WEBSTER. Thought I'd like
to see it. Do you think it's all right?"
"Well," I said, "ALBERT ROLLIT _did_ tell me something about
ATTORNEY-GENERAL going on the Spree. But that was in Germany, and he
had his skates with him. Don't know how it'll be here. You mustn't
forget that WILFRID's something of a wag. Wouldn't advise you to wait
much after eleven o'clock."
House engaged all night on Tithes Bill. Not particularly lively.
Towards midnight TANNER, preternaturally quiet since House met,
suddenly woke up, and, _à propos de bottes_, moved to report progress.
COURTNEY down on him like cartload of bricks; declined to put Motion,
declaring it abuse of forms of House. This rather depressing. In good
old times there would have been an outburst of indignation in Irish
camp; Chairman's ruling challenged, and squabble agreeably occupied
rest of evening. But times changed. No Irish present to back TANNER,
who, with despairing look round, subsided, and business went forward
without further check.
_Business done_.--Tithes Bill in Committee.
[Illustration: Exit!]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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