Oh, dainty product of the March of Progress, Oh, glorious outcome of the Course of Time,-- The watchful, well-attired Old Bailey ogress, Still finding sweetest stimulus in--Crime! * * * * * SEASONABLE GREETING FOR SPIRITUALISTS.--I wish you a _rappy_ New Year! * * * * * [Illustration: METROPOLITAN RAILWAY TYPES. THE PARTY THAT _NEVER_ SAYS, "THANK YOU!" THE PARTY THAT _ALWAYS_ SAYS, "THANK YOU!" WHEN YOU OPEN THE DOOR, SHUT THE WINDOW, OR GIVE UP YOUR SEAT FOR HER.] * * * * * BUMBLE AT HOME; OR, THE WINTER OF _OUR_ DISCONTENT. "Notwithstanding the most superlative, and, I may say, supernat'ral exertions on the part of this parish," said BUMBLE, "we have not been able to--do anythink."--_Oliver Twist_. _Mr. Bumble, loquitur_:-- _GR-R-R-R!!!_ Old-fashioned Winter, indeed! Well, I 'ope them as talks on it relishes it! The City seems give up to snow; which I can't say it greatly embellishes it. But, really, of all the dashed imperence,--s'posing of course as they _meant_ it,-- The greatest is that of the Papers appealing to Me to pervent it! Ah! it's a hinsolent Hage, and without no respect for Authority. The cry of them demmycrat 'owlers is all for low In-fe-ri-or-ity. Things is about bottom uppards, as far as I judges, already, And if the porochial dignity's floored, what is left to stand steady?