Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, January 17, 1891 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, January 17, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, January 17, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"Oh, wanderers from a far country, I am She-who-will-never-Obey, the
Queen of the Mariannakookas. I rule above, and in nether regions,
where there is Eternal Fire. Behold my Word goes forth, and the Ovens
are made hot, and the _Kee-chen-boi-lars_ are filled with Water. Over
me no Mistress holds sway. All whom I meet I keep in subjection, save
only the _Weeklibuks_; them I keep not down, for they delight me. And
the land over which I reign is made glad with fat and much stored
up _Dripn_. Who are ye, and what seek ye here? Speak ere it be too
late!" And as she ceased the whole army broke forth into a chorus,
"She-who-will-never-Obey has spoken! The Word is gone forth! Speak,
speak!" I confess I was alarmed, and my fears were not diminished
when two of the _Skulrimehds_ (a sort of native camp-follower) came
up to COODENT and me, and actually began to make love to us in the
most forward manner. But Sir HENRY maintained his calm demeanour.
"She-who-will-never-Obey," he said, "we are peaceful traders. We
bring no Commission--" how his sentence would have ended will never
be known. Certain it is that what he said roused the Amazons to a
frenzy of passion. They yelled and danced round us. "He who brings no
Commission must die!" they shouted; and in a moment we found ourselves
bound tightly hand-and-foot, and marching as prisoners of war in the
centre of the Mariannakookaland army.
CHAPTER V.
It is unnecessary to go through the details of our marvellous escape
from the lowest dungeon of the royal Palace of SURVAN TSAUL, where for
months we were immured on a constant diet of suet pudding. Of course
we did escape, but only after killing ten thousand Mariannakookas,
and then swimming for a mile in their blood. COODENT brought with him
a very pretty _Skulrimehd_ who had grown attached to him, but she
drooped and pined away after he lost his false teeth in crossing a
river, and tried to replace them with orange-peel, a trick he had
learnt at school. Sir HENRY's fight with She-who-will-never-Obey is
still remembered. He will carry the marks of her nails on his cheeks
to his grave. I myself am tired of wandering. "_Home, Sweet Home_," as
the _Bab Ballads_ have it, is the place for me.
THE END.
* * * * *
AN UNREHEARSED EFFECT.
(_BY OUR OWN RECITER._)
[Illustration]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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