* * * * * [Illustration: ARBITRATION. THE SEAL. "BELAY, YOU TWO JOHNNIES!--AVAST QUARRELLING! GIVE ME A 'CLOSE-TIME,' AND LEAVE THE 'SEA' AN OPEN QUESTION."] * * * * * [Illustration: SHOCKING! _Fair New-Englander_ (_spending the Winter in the Old Country_). "OH, WHAT A LOVE! AND IS IT THE FIRST YOU HAVE SHOT THIS YEAR, CAPTAIN RASPER?"] * * * * * TOO CIVIL BY HALF; OR, PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE. (_A DRAMA FOUNDED--MORE OR LESS--UPON FACTS._) ACT I.--"PAST."--_Interior of the Savings Bank Department of the G.P.O. Employés engaged upon their work. The hour for customary cessation of labour strikes._ _Official of a Higher Grade_. Officers and Gentlemen, the exigencies of the Public Service require your presence for some time longer. I beg you to continue your work. _A Hundred Employés_. Never! (_Aside._) Ha! ha! the employment of Female Clerks is avenged! _Off._ (_almost in tears_). Reconsider your decision, I beg--I implore! _Another Hundred Employés_. Never! (_Aside._) Seven hours a day and no longer--shall be secured at one fell swoop! _Off._ (_with indescribable emotion_). Oh, my country! Oh, my Savings Bank Depositors! Oh, my dignity of the Civil Service! [_Faints in the arms of faithful Employés, whilst the other Clerks defiantly depart. Tableau._ ACT II.--"PRESENT."--_Magnificent apartments of the P.-M.-Gen. in the G.P.O. Deputation of contrite Employés listening to the eloquent speech of their Official Chief._ _P.M.G._ (_in effect_). I am delighted that you are such good fellows. Your conduct in owning that you were wrong in refusing to work after regular official hours, almost effaces a painful page in the history of St. Martin's-le-Grand. Let it be clearly understood that extra work is _not_ compulsory, _but_, if _not_ undertaken, may lead (as in the present instance) to immediate suspension, if not dismissal. Surely no one can object to that? (_Contrite Officials express mournful approval._) And now good-bye, and A Happy New Year. As for the future--hope, my good friends, hope! [_Exeunt the contrite Employés, leaving the Officials of a Higher Grade agitating the nerves controlling their eyelids spasmodically._ ACT III.--"FUTURE."--_Same Scene as Act I. Venerable Employés discovered, after twenty years' further service._ _First Venerable Employé_. Remember the words spoken a score of winters ago--Hope, brother, hope! _Second Venerable Employé_. Yes--Hope, brother, hope! [_As the Scene closes, the entire Establishment are left continuing the self-sustaining, but rather profitless employment, indefinitely. Curtain._ * * * * * _A Son of the Pool_. By the Author of _A Daughter of the Pyramids_. * * * * * CHARLES KEENE BORN AUGUST 10, 1823. DIED JANUARY 4, 1891.