Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, January 24, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, January 24, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
The frost that held us in its grip,
Would raise the prisoning paw,
And Nature, like a mouse set free,
Enjoyed delusive liberty,
While every water-pipe must drip
To greet the passing thaw.
Then rudely dashed from eager lip
The cup of joy would be,
And fingers numbed, and chattering jaw,
Owned unexpelled the winter's flaw,
And on the steps the goodmen slip,
And shout the major D.
Long like a fossil tipsy-cake
The sponge each morn appeared;
The bath, if plenished over-night,
Was frozen ere the morning light,
And more that frigid water-ache
Than unwashed days I feared,
Now while the milder zephyrs shake
Once more the winter's might,
My sponge, my bath, by loss endeared,
Shall dree no more a lonely weird;
And as young ducks to water take,
Shall be my bath ward flight.
* * * * *
GOOD DEVON!
Mr. W.H. SMITH will return to Grosvenor Place from Torquay on Monday,
for the opening of Parliament.
'Tis pity of you, OLD MORALITY,
Back from your rest to loud banality.
After St. Stephen's shindy, Devon
No doubt appeared a very heaven:
But cream's as much like water chalky
As Torquay Torrs to Talky-Talky!
* * * * *
CHANGE OF INITIALS.
"Often as I may have been invited," Mr. T.M. HEALY is reported to
have said, in the course of a recent speech, "I never yet put a toe
inside his house." Memorable words. Henceforth, name changed to
TOE-AND-HEALY, M.P.
* * * * *
A WORD TO MOTHERS.
[A well-known Dramatic Critic has recently spoken of a play as
"just the play in which growing girls will delight."]
O Anxious Mothers, come and listen
To what just now I've got to say.
If I'm not wrong, your eyes will glisten
Before the end of this my lay.
With strong affection overflowing--
Your children are indeed your pearls--
You can't help feeling pleased at knowing
The play's the thing--for growing girls!
The pages of a lady's journal
I've very often read with care,
The news, the gossiping eternal,
You're always sure of getting there.
Of how you ought to bind your tresses,
The latest styles, the tint in hair,
And there I've seen the kind of dresses
It's right for growing girls to wear.
But never once the slightest mention
Of what they'd better go and see,
And yet it's clear that some attention
To such a thing there ought to be.
For sentiment and love they're frantic,
They're fond of knights and belted earls,
A play that's just the least romantic--
Yes, that's the play for growing girls.
A crowing child, who loves to prattle,
Can easily be kept at rest.
You've only got to get a rattle,
Or p'raps a dolly would be best.
A bouncing boy will blow a bubble,
And want no more the livelong day;
But if a growing girl gives trouble,
You've got to take her to the play!
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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