Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, June 13, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, June 13, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Accordingly, to-day, meeting in the freshness and vigour of new week,
House takes up a local Bill dealing with pilotage in Bristol Channel.
Two or three Members talk about it for hour and a half. House neither
knowing nor caring anything on subject, empties; Division bell sounds
through all the rooms and corridors. How is a man to vote when the
question abruptly submitted is, "That the Pilotage Provisional Orders
No. 1 Bill be now read a Second Time?" Still, it's as well to vote, as
it runs up average attendance on Divisions, at which at election times
constituents sometimes glance. Fortunately, in this case, MICHAEL
BEACH, as one of Members for Bristol, took part in Debate and
Division. As useful this as sign-post to belated traveller at four
cross-roads. Conservatives and Liberals crowded at Bar keep their eye
on President of Board of Trade, watching which way he would go. He
led the way into the "Aye" lobby. Thither followed him all the
Conservatives, all the Liberals trooping into the "No" lobby. When
Noses were counted, it was found that 165 voted "Aye," 119 "No." And
thus it came to pass that the Pilotage Provisional Order No. 1 Bill
was read a Second Time.
One gathered from chance expressions, and especially from the interest
taken in the affair by Members for City of Bristol, that Bristol had
special interest in the Bill. In addition to MICHAEL BEACH'S support,
WESTON on Liberal side, HILL on Conservative Benches, supported Second
Reading. Sinking political differences, Member for East Bristol, and
Member for South Bristol, agreed upon plan of campaign.
"You, WESTON," said Colonel HILL who, having obtained his military
rank in the peaceful pursuits of commercial shipping, is a master of
strategy, "speak so low that they can't hear a word you say, whilst I,
concealing a miniature speaking-trumpet in my mouth, will roar at them
as if a stout North-Easter were blowing through the lanyards of our
first battalion, deployed in open order."
Tactics succeeded admirably. Sir JOSEPH WESTON, a mild, aldermanic
person, presented himself from quarter behind Front Opposition Bench,
and, to all appearances, delivered an admirable address. His lips
moved, his right hand marked the rhythm of his ordered speech; now
his eyes flashed in reprobation, and anon smiled approval. But not
a sound, save a soft murmur, as of distant dripping waterfall, was
heard. _L'Enfant Prodigue_ wasn't in it for successful pantomime.
When the movement stopped, and the Alderman was discovered to be
sitting down, the martial-nautical HILL sprang up from Bench on other
side, and the stillness was broken by a rasping voice, that woke DICKY
TEMPLE out of his early slumber. The strategy, cleverly conceived, was
admirably carried out, and Bristol, thanks to diversified talent of
its Members, got its Bill. Only it seemed a pity that an hour and
a half of precious public time should incidentally have been
appropriated.
_Business done_.--Irish Land Bill in report stage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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