Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, June 20, 1891 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, June 20, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, June 20, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Wrangling went on till a quarter past five, when TALBOT interposed,
and with most funereal manner moved to report progress. HENEAGE almost
mechanically lowered his head and had started to butt at TALBOT as
he had upset GEDGE when he was providentially stopped and convinced
that further struggle with obstruction was hopeless. So, Clause I.
agreed to, Bill talked out. MAKINS, growing increasingly delightful,
protested that a Bill that had been fifty years before the country,
was not to be rushed through the House on a Wednesday afternoon.
_Argal_, the more familiar the House is with the details of a measure,
the more necessary is it to debate it.
_Business done_.--Marriage with a Deceased Wife's Sister. Banns again
objected to.
_Saturday_, 1:25 A M.--Land Bill just through report stage. Nothing
left now but Third Reading. "Well, KNOX," said WINDBAG SEXTON, "that
will be our last opportunity, and we must make the most of it. In
meantime I think we've done pretty well. I'm especially pleased with
you. You're a boy of great promise. If anything happened to me--a
stray tack in the bench, or a pin maliciously directed, and the
wind-bag were to collapse--you'd do capitally, till I got it
repaired."
WINDBAG JUNIOR blushed. As OLD MORALITY remarks, Ingenuous youth
delights in the Approbation of Seasoned Seniority.
_Business done_.--Land at last--I mean Land Purchase Bill through at
last.
* * * * *
THE GENERAL OF THE FUTURE.
SCENE--_Tent in rear of a Battle-field. Political Officer in
attendance upon Army, waiting for Military assistance._
_Political Officer_ (_impatiently_). Now then, Orderly, have you not
been able to secure a General for me?
_Orderly_ (_saluting_). Beg pardon, Sir, but it's so difficult, since
they have passed that new Royal Warrant, to know which is which.
_Pol. Off._ (_more impatiently_). Nonsense!--any General Officer will
do. _Ord_. Very good, Sir.
[_Exit. Political Officer stamps his foot irritably, when
enter First General Officer, hurriedly._
_First Gen. Off._ Well, Sir, how can I assist you?
_Pol. Off._ (_cordially_). Glad to see you, General. Fact is,
supposing we arrange a treaty, do you think it would be wise to
surrender the fortress on the right side of the river, if we retain
the redoubt near the wood as a basis of operations? You see--
_First Gen. Off._ (_interrupting_). Very sorry, but don't know
anything about it.
_Pol. Off._ (_annoyed_). But aren't you a General?
_First Gen. Off._ Certainly. General-Surgeon. Ta, ta! [_Exit._
_Pol. Off._ Well of all the--(_Enter Second Gen. Off._) Well, Sir,
what is it? Who are you?
_Second Gen. Off._ I am a General Officer, and I was told you required
my poor services.
_Pol. Off._ So I do. The fact is, General, supposing we arrange a
treaty, do you think it wise for us to surrender the fortress--
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