_Col. X._ I have not forgotten it, SMITH, and as a politician the idea is comforting. Ah, SMITH, would that I had always done my duty in the House of Commons! But no, with a view to obtaining this command, I voted against my convictions! I supported the Government in their proposal to tax perambulators! It was cruel, unmanly so to do, but I was weak and foolish! And now I cannot die easily! Would that I could live to repair the past. _Opposition Whip_ (_suddenly springing up from behind a limber à la_ HAWKSHAW _the Detective_). It is _not_ too late! Return with me to Westminster forthwith. The Third Reading is down for to-night! With a special train we shall be in time! You can yet record your vote! _Col. X._ (_suddenly reviving_). Say you so? Then I _will_ recover! I _will_ do my duty! [_Exit, to vote against his Party, and to be put permanently on the shelf, from a military point of view!_ * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. SIR EDWIN ARNOLD's paper on Japan, in _Scribner_, for March, is interesting and also amusing. The Japanese seemed to be a charming people; and the Japanese women delightful as wives; but then they can be divorced for being talkative. _A propos_ of Japan, to judge from one of our LIKA JOKO's capital illustrations of Hospital Nursing in _The English Illustrated Magazine_, the Matron's room must be "an illigant place, intoirely"; while as for amusement, if the picture of a nurse giving a patient a cup of ink by mistake for liquorice-water isn't a real good practical side-splitter, the Baron would like to be informed what is? Then we come upon a delightful little picture of "_The Pet of the Hospital_"; and so she ought to be, for a prettier pet than this nursing Sister it would be difficult to find. What becomes of her? Does she marry a "Sawbones," or run off with a patient? Anyhow, she must be a "great attraction," and if anything were to happen to the Baron, and he couldn't be removed to his own palatial residence, he would say, "Put me in a cab, drive me to the Furniss Hospital, and let me be in Pretty Pet's Ward." The Baron has just been dipping into Mr. JUSTIN HUNTLY McCARTHY's "Pages on Plays" in _The Gentleman's Magazine_. JUSTIN HUNTLY expresses his opinion that "_The Dancing Girl_ will almost certainly be the play of the season; it will probably be the principal play of the year." "Almost certainly" and "probably" save the situation. The Baron backs _The Idler_ against _The Dancing Girl_ for a run. In the same Magazine Mr. ALBERT FLEMING has condensed into a short story, called _Sally_, material that would have served some authors for a three-volume novel.