Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 16, 1891Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 16, 1891
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"He was always WALTER to _me_, Madam, or rather--WATTY. He was so
like a favourite young brother of mine, who died young. That drew
us together from the first. Did dear old WATTY never tell you how
he saved my life once?... No? So like him!--he wouldn't. But he did,
though; yes, by Gad, jumped into fifteen foot of water after me, and
kept me up when I was going under for the last time. Pardon me, but I
see a photograph upon your writing-table--surely, unless I am wrong,
that--"
"That is a portrait of my only brother," you will say; "he is out in
India with his regiment--perhaps you may have met him there?"
"Thought I knew the face--met him at Simla, several times," says the
Captain; "wonderful how small the world is! But have you one of old
WATTY's photos? I should so like to see whether the dear old chap has
altered ... Ah, I should hardly have known him--and yet, yes, the same
cheery, jolly look, I can trace the boy there, I can see my old WATTY
again! No friends, my dear Mrs. GOSLING, like those we make in early
youth! And he never mentions me now? Ah! well, he has a very charming
excuse for forgetting the past--though I shall tell him when I see
him that I do think he might have remembered his old school-friend
a little better than he seems to have done. Your servant informed me
that he was seldom at home quite so early as this, but I thought if
I could not see _him_, I would at least give myself the pleasure of
making the acquaintance of his wife, so I just ventured to come in for
five minutes."
"WILLIAM will be so disappointed to have missed you," you say,
eagerly; "can't you wait and let me give you some tea? He may be back
in half an hour."
"In half an hour? Well, 'pon my word, you tempt me very much. I
shouldn't like to go away without seeing him, but I must send away my
cab first--no, it's not outside, left it at the corner of the road,
as I wasn't certain of the number--I s'pose I've got enough silver
to--no, I haven't, by Jove! _Could_ you oblige me by change for
a--well, really, this is very awkward. I've positively come out with
only a shilling--thought it was a sovereign! I shall have to ask dear
old WATTY to accommodate me--I've lent _him_ many a half-crown in
the old days. Absurd predicament to be in, and if I keep my cabman
waiting, I don't know what he mayn't charge me. I took him three hours
ago. I tell you what, my dear Mrs. GOSLING; If you'll advance me a
sovereign, I could run out and settle with the fellow, and then it
won't signify _how_ long I wait for WATTY. _Can_ you? Too good of
you, I'm sure! WATTY will chaff me when he hears I've been borrowing
like this, ha, ha!" Here your ear, sharpened by affection, catches
a well-known turn of the latch-key at your front-door. "Why, how
fortunate!" you exclaim, "here _is_ my husband already, Captain
CAULKER. He will come in as soon as he has changed his shoes."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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